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HP ENVY 17.3″ Quad-Core i7 Laptop

Use this: to stir up ENVY among your friends who would envy a pretty good affordable laptop.

Don’t use this: as a fragrance.

The only way to make this better would be: if when you opened it and closed like it was monster with a big mouth, it made loud chomping noises so you wouldn’t have to do it yourself.

At the local watering hole, this would order: a drink for itself and then a drink for everyone else in the bar. And you’d be like, “I wish I was that cool.”

Archie Tinker, rodeo cowboy, describes how to best wrangle this product: Thank’n much to its Intel? 3rd generation Core? i7-3630QM quad-core processor, this HP can run a’mighty fast, but that’n bein’ only in the sense metaphoric. In the sense of literals, it’n doesn’t got more speed than a stetson on a pair’o roller skates, which’n is to say, not so speedy in nonesuch way, given that a stetson gots no feet to put’n inta them skates, nor any leg muscles for’n propulsion forward-wise. What’s’n this all done adds upta is that ya kin pretty much just’a walk up to the HP an’ pick’er’p. There ya have it! Done Dagwood! YEEEEEEEEEE-HHHAAAAAAAWWWWWW!

Specifications:
Processor: Intel Core i7-3630QM (2.4GHz)
Processor Core: Quad-Core
Screen Size: 17.3″
Aspect Ratio: 16:9
Resolution: 1920 x 1080
Display Type: Full HD Anti-Glare LED-backlit
Graphics: Intel HD 4000 (up to 1696MB)
Memory: 12GB DDR3 (expandable to 16GB)
Hard Drive: 1TB SATA (5400rpm) with HP ProtectSmart Hard Drive Protection
Optical Drive: SuperMulti DVD?RW
Network: 10/100/1000Mbps Gigabit Ethernet
Wireless: 802.11b/g/n
Bluetooth: Yes
WiDi Ready: Yes
Card Reader: Multi-Format Digital Media Card Reader (SD, MMC)
Battery: 6-Cell Lithium-Ion
Sound: Beats Audio Quad Speakers & a Subwoofer
Webcam: HP TrueVision HD
Microphone: Dual Array Digital
Keyboard: Full-Size Island-Style with Numeric Keypad
Pointing Device: Touchpad with Multi-Touch Gesture Support
Fingerprint Reader: HP SimplePass with Integrated Fingerprint Reader
I/O Ports:
HDMI: 1
USB 3.0: 3
USB 2.0: 1
VGA: 1
RJ-45: 1
Microphone-in: 1
Headphone-out: 1
Operating System:
Genuine Windows 8
Power:
90W AC Adapter
6-Cell 62WHr 2.8Ah Lithium-Ion Battery
Dimensions:
16.38″(W) x 1.39″(H) x 10.79″(D)
Weight:
6.94 lbs

 

In the box:

  • HP ENVY DV7-7243CL Quad-Core i7 Laptop with 17.3″ Full HD LED Display
  • 6-Cell Lithium-Ion Battery
  • AC Adapter

Woot

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