Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you want to see the holes in your paper targets. This is a .22 caliber air rifle, so that means you can actually see where it hits. Don’t use this: if you’re going to call it an 11 50ths caliber air rifle. Congratulations! You know math! Big friggin’ whoop! This just posted on Facebook: […]
Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
It’s finally here! Legendary director Berdinand Brooster brings his hit one-knife musical to the shining lights of the big city. In a story that mixes comedy with drama, a famous knife travels to a small town to chop its biggest onion in front of a live studio audience. Will it successfully make the cut, or […]
Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
Our buying team’s really enthused about this Discovery Kids Firefly Night Light. But in the excitement they’ve misplaced their dictionaries! Help them find the right words to explain exactly how this cuddly toy teaches children the beauty and wonder of constellations. “________!” said Billy, as he jumped into his _________ and dove under the covers […]
Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
One morning, as Gregor Klipscha was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been changed into a monstrous set of in-ear headphones. He lay on his long, stringy back and saw, as he lifted his ear buds a little, his push-button controller. His “legs” flopped helplessly off the bed. […]
Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
Oh man, it’s 5:30 and we still haven’t done the Shirt.Woot writeup? How does this keep happening? Well, let’s get something out there. Let’s see… The year: 1491. Christopher Columbus plans the unthinkable: A voyage to India by sea, to the West. However, he keeps putting off asking the Queen of Spain for funds, until […]
Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
Every night I sit down to a tuna nicoise salad covered in goat cheese, topped with crunchy French bread sprinkles. On the side, I have two pieces of watermelon. For the past several months, when not eating my favorite meal, I’ve been searching for a wine that will pair with my exquisite tastes. The Project […]
Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
The day was promised. The day is here. Soon we’ll be winking through our glasses to access biometrics on strangers at the bus stop and wiggling our fingers to trigger telephone calls in our tiny cochlear implants. We shall become creatures of flesh and steel that communicate at the speed of light, nay, beyond light! […]
Monday, April 29, 2013 // Woot
Hope. Love. Goodness. Sacrifice. These are the four things that make someone super. Not weird powers or incredible strength or laser eyes and chilly breath. That’s the sort of stuff you’re just born with. Any jerk from another planet can manage those things. If you’ve paid any attention to the summer movies, you’ll know exactly […]
Monday, April 29, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to write a review of itself (a digital Ouroboros). Don’t use this: to patronize our competitors. That would be really mean. The only way to make this better would be: if it were twice as powerful, twice as heavy, and five times shinier. When it’s cold outside, this stays warm by: obstructing its […]
Monday, April 29, 2013 // Woot
Use this: so you can preserve your precious collection of tin cans for future generations. Don’t use this: as a paperweight, unless you’ve got an enormous desk. The experts say: be sure to check the distance and caliber ratings for these targets before you buy. We don’t accept returns that have been shredded by gunfire. […]
