Sean University: Keep Your Powder Dry (And By “Powder” I Mean “Computers”)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
We’re going to start today’s lesson with an exercise. Please complete the following steps:
- Pour yourself a glass of water.
- Drink it.
How do you feel? For starters, you probably notice that your mouth is wetter than before. Maybe you feel refreshed or maybe not if you weren’t thirsty before. Now repeat steps 1 and 2 imagining you were a computer. How do you feel this time? That’s right: DEAD!
There are only two things in the world that hate water and they are computers and cats, but we’re going to focus on computers because you can’t run your business through a cat (unless you’re REALLY good with cats). As a business owner, it’s really important to keep your computers dry, but since you like water and need it to survive, you might not know how to do this correctly. That’s why, here at the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership (SAUBMDL), we have put together some helpful tips to help you keep your valuable hardware from getting wet…
1. Don’t buy computers that are shaped like the bottom part of a water coolers. This encourages careless employees to upend open, gigantic bottles of water onto your computers, which is something that should generally be discouraged.
2. If an employee asks if he/she can work from home, make sure he doesn’t live underwater before saying he/she can.
3. Make sure your business has a roof to avoid rain damage. Roofs are costly and troublesome, so it’s tempting to cut corners by going without one. Don’t do it.
4. Avoid naming your business after a river, so that water doesn’t mistake your business for a place where it can hang out.
5. Instate a no-cactus policy. While they may seem to promote dryness, these plants actually hold water inside themselves for long periods of time and can burst at any moment.
6. Giving each employee a sink at his/her desk is a bad idea. Giving each employee a sink as a desk is just downright dangerous (and ergonomically questionable too).
7. Put a clothing dryer in the corner of your office and make sure it’s always running. It will lead by example.
8. Talk to HR about making crying or sweating a terminable offense.
9. Keep the bathroom well-stocked with paper towels so that employees can dry their hands thoroughly. Also, put the bathroom in a separate building at least two miles from the office.
10. Pour very small amounts of water on your computer every day. Obviously this won’t keep your computer dry, but it might help build up your computer’s immune system when it comes to moisture.
These ten tips are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to water and your business, so feel free to ask any questions you have below. Oh, and that reminds me: 11. No icebergs. They melt.
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