Saturday, April 20, 2013 // Woot
You’re on your sixth divorce. You’ve got nineteen mortgages. You want a better job but you’re not sure how to get noticed. Spider-Man is actually Doctor Octopus. And your kid comes in and asks you “What’s the meaning of life?” How in the heck are you supposed to answer THAT? What you can do, however, […]
Sunday, April 14, 2013 // Woot
When Gulliverita landed in Lilliput, she couldn’t help but recall the stories of her old Uncle Gulliver and his travels in this land of tiny people. But there was one big difference in her story and his: she was pregnant. It was difficult enough trying to figure out how to live in this land of little […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
The product description you are about to witness may startle you. It would not have been possible, otherwise, to sufficiently emphasize the frightful toll of the new menace which is destroying happily un-fit Americans in alarmingly increasing numbers. RUNNER’S HIGH is that menace — a violent narcotic — an unspeakable scourge. And the Motorola 89565N […]
Friday, April 12, 2013 // Woot
Think back with us now, to the days of your childhood. Ah, so innocent, wasn’t it? The wrestling on TV, the comic books in the back yard, the action movies in the theaters. All built around one thing: it’s cool to build, but even cooler to smash. And so the heels and faces would set […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
Like, it’s REALLY annoying the way you people keep making ASSUMPTIONS about how days work. Do you think “Toolsday” automatically has to be between Monday and Wednesday? Just because of how it sounds? You don’t look at the 13oz Curve Claw Hammer and say “A hammer? That’s like Thor! I bet they’re only going to […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to tell the TV schedulers that they’re not the boss of you! Don’t use this: as your backup quarterback, New York Jets! Oh wait, someone already made that joke? ABORT! ABORT! When this product doesn’t want to go to dinner with you, it uses this excuse: “How about you go, and I’ll stay […]
Thursday, March 21, 2013 // Woot
All these books, with names like “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” and “Five Little Monkeys Jumpin’ on the Bed” and all these CDs, like “Favorite Children’s Songs” and “Favorite Toddler Tunes” are exactly what my child needs to learn how to think, count, sing and play! Totally different from the “How To Sit In The […]
Monday, March 4, 2013 // Woot
Tell a thirteen year old they’ve got to make sandwiches all summer, and what will you hear? MOM! DAD! NOOOOOO! Tell a nineteen year old they’ve got to make pizzas all summer and what will they say? MAN, I WANTED TO DO STUFF WITH MY BUDS! Tell your three year old you bought them some […]
Wednesday, February 20, 2013 // Woot
As a current TiVo customer, I like this TiVo Premiere because it’s cheaper with my existing account. My brother, without TiVo, he likes it because it lets him start a new account. But we both agree: it’s the best way to skip past all those terrible shows and watch the far-more-entertaining commercials. Because THAT’S the […]
Sunday, February 17, 2013 // Woot
Listen, you want to hang with Elmo and Zoe and check out their die-cut board book and read along CD? Have at it. You think it’d be pretty rad to rock some ABC flash cards and learn to identify upper and lowercase letters? I’m not gonna stop you. But say tonight you make a quick […]
