Saturday, April 27, 2013 // Woot
THIS JUST IN … Police are on the lookout for a man carrying a metal case. This man is wanted in association with a face-painting incident at a street fair last weekend. The man is known to be armed with an Art 101 79-piece art set and is considered dangerously good at artsy things. The […]
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Dear Game Developer, I know you’re probably not checking your email considering it’s the zombie apocalypse and all, but I still felt the need to express my concern. YOUR GAME IS A LIE! Case in point: the tulips I planted have done NOTHING to keep the zombies out of my yard. And they marched right […]
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Pedroncelli? Aw, yeah! I used to love them back in ’85! They had that logo with the lightning bolts in place of the letter l’s and that big hair guitarist. You remember, right? Wine Metal gave them their third album an unprecedented 9.2 flamin’ axes! Now, some people got into the band with that so-called […]
Monday, March 25, 2013 // Woot
A fine wine isn’t just to display. A fine wine is for drinking! Pop the cork and pour a glass in the face of destiny and scream THIS! THIS IS THE WINE MY HOUSE HAS BROUGHT YOU! CONQUER IT IF YOU CAN! and then throw a cracker on the floor and grind it into the […]
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 // Woot
Hand-washable, drip dry, stain resistant Dimensions: 4.75″(W) x 6.9″(H) x 0.75″(D) In the box: BUILT E-HGC-NLS Hoodie Game Case Woot
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
How dare you, Sir. HOW DARE YOU. Just because my child is an exceptionally adept crayon and broad marker artist, that doesn’t mean that she TRACES. Tracing is to art what Toaster Strudels are to PopTarts. They’re a bad imitation and … well maybe that’s not the best analogy but either way, they totally suck […]
Friday, February 22, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you believe it’s time to start replacing the out-of-date Zs with some fresh, forward-thinking Xs. This just posted on Facebook: “Am I on Facebook, or is Facebook on me??!?!?! :0” At the local watering hole, this would order: something in a tall glass. Not everything in life should be flat. Variety, people! […]
Sunday, February 10, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you’re always having long phone conversations with Yoko uNu. Don’t use this: as a card in Uno. If you traveled to the past, people would think this was a: battery iPhone case. Oh, we should clarify: by “past,” we meant 2011. This just posted on Facebook: “Don’t matter if I haven’t slept […]
Wednesday, February 6, 2013 // Woot
Here’s the truth: on average, an MBA will make more money than an MFA. But here’s another truth: in the first year, they’re both going to be struggling. Only the MFA will be able to say things like “sell out bourgeoisie pigs!” and spend all their free time sketching attractive people in cafes, while the […]
Friday, February 1, 2013 // Woot
Sure, I can bend steel girders with my bare hands. And yeah, I’ve been known to stop a speeding train by simply sticking my foot out in front of it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need a solid 8 hours of decent sleep a night. I’m only super human, after all. I’m also a […]
