Friday, February 24, 2012 // Woot
Where’s HP? There may be an HP laptop in your midst RIGHT NOW! Follow our four easy steps and everyone can know for sure. Sure, this HP is packing an AMD A6-3400M 1.4GHz quad-core processor and 8GB worth of DDR3 memory for multi-tasking power, but with its understated design, you’d have no idea just looking […]
Wednesday, February 15, 2012 // Woot
The Memo ATTN: ALL STAFF: The following are some clarifications regarding the new Microsoft Notebook Cooling Base you all were recently assigned: 1: Though inter-office competition is certainly an acceptable way to increase productivity and keep spirits high, it has come to my attention that currently there are games of “freeze tag” that last between […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
The More You Know It’s time for your laptop to make some new friends. Look, it was great while it lasted with your laptop and its original power cord. They had some great times together. They supported each other. They loved each other. But now it’s over. Your power cord is gone, dead, lost, and […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
No, this isn’t right at all. Are you even taking this seriously? “What? Of course I’m taking it seriously. I’m really dedicated here.” It’s just that this is the sacred rite of the satanic summoning runes. It’s our incantation to pledge our eternal infernal allegiance to the Dark Lord. And you have a laptop. “Yeah. […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Straight lines and 90 degree angles to the rescue In a town overtaken by hostile circles, a prophet had a vision of a rectangle that could save them all. “Tell us more,” said the townspeople. All of them were packed tightly into schoolhouse. The prophet stood at the front of the room. “Unlike the evil […]
Sunday, October 30, 2011 // Woot
I started having doubts I was the kid’s father when he didn’t look at all like me. That and the levitation thing. There were other signs, too. The fact I had been on a business trip around the time Beth got pregnant was one. The crazy accelerated three-month gestational period was another. And, thinking back […]
Sunday, October 23, 2011 // Woot
It’s Probably Cheap Pizza Anyway Exclude me, will you? Me and my HP Pavilion Triple-Core Notebook with 17.3” BrightView LED will show you. We’ll show you ALL. Oh yes, my so-called office buddies. I’m onto your little game. Wait until I’m working from home, and THAT’S when you have the secret pizza meeting. But I […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Smile To the beach, boys and girls! But some of us just weren’t made for these summertimes. Boys, come on! Come on! It’s summer! You should be out, I don’t know, surfing or tanning or maybe racing cars or something. Well, okay, Carl, I guess you ARE racing cars, but I didn’t mean some game […]
Tuesday, September 13, 2011 // Woot
Dear Jacob, This is a letter from your Daddy. That’s me! You can’t read this yet, since you’re still just my beautiful baby boy, but I wanted to write to you and tell you how excited I am for the life ahead of you! It’s going to be a wonderful journey for you, my wonderful […]
Saturday, September 10, 2011 // Woot
The Hour Of The Wolf It’s late at night, or maybe early morning. You’re alone, but don’t have to be. You could be with your Internet friends. Everyone’s had that night at some point. Can’t sleep, don’t want to get up, the TV’s too far away and anyway there’s only commercials on now besides. The […]
