Saturday, October 8, 2011 // Woot
Fear not, fans of terrible football teams! Just because you buy a TV doesn’t mean you HAVE to watch crappy football. So you decided this was the year. You went out, bought yourself a fancy television with some bells and whistles, and called your local cable or satellite dish provider to ask for whatever they […]
Friday, October 7, 2011 // Woot
Welcome back, Wooters, to our weekly ritual in which we search for the perfect song to describe a song. I’m moving through the list alphabetically and applying some simple rules: the song must have the state in the title, and it must praise the entire state, not just one city or feature. This week we’re […]
Friday, October 7, 2011 // Woot
Fisher-Diver is a strange game, honestly. You’re not a person, you’re a little Death Star, or maybe a transparent olive. But you come from a long line of strong Death Olives, and you’re trying to live up to the family tradition. You’ve brought your boat into the ocean to be a fisherman, and uphold the […]
Friday, October 7, 2011 // Woot
Burying The Hatchet Cheap, but not as cheap as your love for me turned out to be. Hey, Maria. I know it must be pretty weird getting a package from me left just outside the door of the hotel room you and I were supposed to be enjoying the first night of our married life […]
Thursday, October 6, 2011 // Woot
You know what I really hate? When I open up my shirt drawer only to find that I accidentally threw a pair of boxers in there. Because I live by my decisions, which means I need to find a way to wear those boxers as a shirt. And no matter how much I innovate my […]
Thursday, October 6, 2011 // Woot
We were already off for the day when we heard the news. You already know it, of course, because it spread like a virus. Steve Jobs, dead, at 56. The very first computer I ever touched was an Apple ][, it’s a pretty common statement among people my age. I used to walk down the […]
Thursday, October 6, 2011 // Woot
After The Divorce Glow sticks are the perfect way to keep your child safe… while still making an indirect comment about the state of the music industry. Hello, Barry? It’s Irene. No, don’t “Irene who” me, Barry, it’s your ex-wife Irene. Yeah, THAT Irene, exactly. The one raising your kid. Your kid who is currently […]
Wednesday, October 5, 2011 // Woot
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire. CHICAGO (UPI) — Chicago rocker Jim Peterik says […]
Wednesday, October 5, 2011 // Woot
Oh quit whining. Look, do you want a dentist who’s conventional or a dentist who gets the job done? Just calm down, Jerry. I know it can be tough adjusting to a new dentist, but I assure you I’m completely qualified to- “Get the hell away from me with that thing!” Relax! This is just […]
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 // Woot
The Walking Dead, AMC’s hit TV series based on Robert Kirkman’s comic book of the same name, made a big splash last year in its debut season, including a Golden Globe nomination for Best Television Series Drama that helped convince the network to renew the show for another 13 episode season. That new season is […]
