Saturday, February 9, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to give all the other Optoma projectors you’ve bought from us inferiority complexes. Don’t use this: to watch “Piranha 3D” unless you’re ready to confront a wall-sized 1080p severed willy. If this was a character in a sitcom, its catchphrase would be: “I’m your brother from another judder!” The SNL that this product […]
Saturday, February 2, 2013 // Woot
Televisions like these SANYOs? Those things are easy. There’s the button on the the screen, then the buttons on the remote. You just press those and it does the stuff. What could be simpler? Now, TV instruction manuals on the other hand, they’re tough! Seriously, who even knows how to use one of those things, […]
Thursday, January 31, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you see all those cats on Youtube and you think, “My cat could do better!” Don’t use this: if 1080p is just not enough. IT’S GOTTA BE 1081P OR FORGET IT! If this were a sports broadcaster, it would say: “Check out this high-difficulty shot in high definition!” Some skeptics wonder: if […]
Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to do a high-quality video tour of the apartment you’re putting up for rent. Just be sure you don’t show the giant rift into another dimension in the bathroom. Wait, were we not supposed to mention the giant rift into another dimension in the bathroom? Our bad! Don’t use this: to film yourself […]
Monday, January 28, 2013 // Woot
So you wanna get fit. That’s great. Do it. Start right now. But don’t fall for “Big Fitness” and their scam about needing gyms and trainers and whatnot. All you need is a collection of Bruce Lee movies and a refurbished RCA 46″ 1080p LCD HDTV. Yeah, okay, you’re not gonna be as good as […]
Sunday, January 27, 2013 // Woot
Use one of these: along with a webcam and a desktop tower as a really, really expensive mirror. Don’t use one of these: in any way that involves grabbing it with both of your hands and pretending it’s a steering wheel. If you owned one of these, people would say: “Now there’s a guy who […]
Thursday, January 24, 2013 // Woot
“Catherine, I need to say something.” “Uh huh.” “Lately, I just feel like you’re not fully invested in us. I just don’t think this is working.” “Right.” “…right. That’s why I think we should stop seeing each other.” “Okay. Uh huh.” “Are you even listening?” “Huh? Sorry, sorry. I was watching the game.” “Can you […]
Thursday, January 24, 2013 // Woot
“Catherine, I need to say something.” “Uh huh.” “Lately, I just feel like you’re not fully invested in us. I just don’t think this is working.” “Right.” “…right. That’s why I think we should stop seeing each other.” “Okay. Uh huh.” “Are you even listening?” “Huh? Sorry, sorry. I was watching the game.” “Can you […]
Sunday, January 20, 2013 // Woot
TVs like these Hisense TVs are great for looking at. But that’s not all! No they can engage all of the other senses too! Check it out: Hearing: Many televisions, like these Hisense ones, have speakers in them, so you can hear them too! Imagine that! You could CLOSE YOUR EYES and STILL KNOW THERE […]
Wednesday, January 16, 2013 // Woot
“Ah, Colonel Righteous, we meet again.” “Freeze, Professor Malevolent. Your dastardly scheme ends now.” “Oh I don’t think so. Unlike you, I actually learned from our past battles. Do you remember the last time we met?” “Yes, you were robbing that TGIFriday’s. I almost stopped you, too, but-“ “But you were distracted, off your game, […]
