Wednesday, November 21, 2012 // Woot
“Let’s see. 10 … 12 … here we are. 14B. Yep, that’s me. I’ve got the window. You know, they claim they’ve added more leg room, but I’d have liked to know where exactly, am I right?” Yeah. It’s a little cramped. “Oh, and don’t worry. I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not one […]
Thursday, November 15, 2012 // Woot
“General, we are conducting this hearing to investigate the accusations of your infidelity and whether or not it compromised your position.” “I understand.” “Now according to records, you were sharing your Asus 15.6″ Dual-Core i3 Laptop with your biographer. Is that so?” “Yes.” “And this was the same Asus laptop on which you had top […]
Wednesday, November 7, 2012 // Woot
Guys, I don’t like to be all “manager-y” like this, but I can’t help noticing morale is well…shockingly, dismally low. Yesterday I emailed an invitation to a company-sponsored pizza party this Friday. I got three “Yes” responses, five “No” responses, and 43 “What’s the point? We all die eventually” responses, which wasn’t even an option […]
Friday, November 2, 2012 // Woot
Please all, direct your attention to the image above. Do you see that shiny piece of technology? That is the Asus 10.1″ Eee Pad Slider Tablet. I know there’s been some confusion. We’ve gotten a lot of people in here who think this Eee Pad Slider is some sort of Thai-food inspired mini-sandwich, but it’s […]
Wednesday, October 24, 2012 // Woot
Oh yippee skipped, another Apple iWhatever is out. Big deal. If you need me I’ll be using my refurbished Asus 15.6″ Dual-Core Laptop, which I purchased on the cheap because I didn’t have to pay off the added expenses of a gigantic announcement presentation. Some people aren’t so starved for attention, y’know. Oh, so you […]
Saturday, October 13, 2012 // Woot
Here at Woot we wade through a lot of product features, and it can become a bit benumbing at times. Is that the latest Intel processor? What’s the power supply on that desktop again? Does it matter? Does anything matter? But then a feature will come along like a shining beacon in the night. Enter […]
Wednesday, October 3, 2012 // Woot
Future You won’t really pay attention when you make him watch the evidence playing on the 14-inch high-definition screen in front of him. He’ll shuffle his feet a bit, drum his fingers on the desk, and twist his mouth nervously the way you do sometimes. After all, he’s you. From the future. When the video […]
Monday, October 1, 2012 // Woot
After multiple failed entrepreneurial attempts, I finally nailed it with this Asus 23.6″ All-in-One PC. To be honest, I guess I’m not all that surprised that my All-in-One Automotive Fluids idea didn’t catch on. Turns out that motor oil mixed with windshield wiper fluid actually DECREASES visibility. The fact that it’s completely ingestible in case […]
Thursday, September 27, 2012 // Woot
You know how sometimes you shout out random words and it startles those around you? Well, you don’t have to shout them anymore! You can type them into your Asus! And if the typing sound startles people, it means they’ve got really sensitive ears, and that’s not your problem. And you know how people on […]
Friday, August 31, 2012 // Woot
“Mom! I need a new laptop!” “What? What happened to the refurbished Asus 15.6″ AMD Dual-Core Laptop I just bought you?” “I washed it.” “You washed it? Why would you wash a laptop?” “It was an accident.” “Jake, you haven’t willingly washed anything in the 19 years you’ve been alive. How would you even be […]
