Tuesday, October 23, 2012 // Woot
That’s the mantra in Seattle, where our corporate overlords have a Venn Diagram, pie chart, flow chart, and process outline for pretty much everything you do. Which at first was kind of a bummer, because they’d be all, “Why exactly do you want to hire a bunch of people to go streaking around the Space […]
Sunday, September 30, 2012 // Woot
Honey, what are you doing still in your pajamas? You’ve got to get to work! “I’m working from home today.” Um, okay… but then why are you just sitting at the kitchen table, moving your hand around? “I’m not just moving my hand around, sweetie. I’m using my Motorola Bluetooth Mouse!” Ah, right. I didn’t […]
Thursday, August 30, 2012 // Woot
What’s the hot new trend in music? Norse royalty! That’s why these refurbished Motorola Bluetooth Headphones will translate all your favorite songs, podcasts, and YouTube videos into old Danish. Just imagine how great that Gotye tune will sound as uttered by the man who raised the Jelling stones! Close your eyes and listen to Nerdist […]
Wednesday, August 29, 2012 // Woot
Strapped this Mtrola Blutooth keyboard 2 my keytar so I can tweet mid-concert. #dblkeytar What’d ya’ll think about that solo? #dblkeytar @keytarfan69 it’s connected 2 the Android in my back pocket fadskl;fjaoimqewpoifnqwe;fnqowiefmqpwuoiheiuq;ojwpoeufnvqpiun Sorry, Ya’ll. thought that was my Mtrola keyboard, but was the Casio. Still getting the hang of this #dblkeytar. @drummerman402 nice snare work […]
Monday, August 27, 2012 // Woot
Hey, new guy! How ya doin’? Name’s Maurice. The Big Cheese says I’m supposed to show you the ropes ’round here at the Clockworks today, so I’ll be giving you a few pointers. HA! Get it? “Pointers?” ‘Cause you’re a… You know what, it’s okay. You’re probably just too nervous for humor. By the looks […]
Friday, July 6, 2012 // Woot
Dear Uncle Rocco, I hope this letter finds you well. I also hope you’re actually opening and reading it instead of burning it the moment you saw my name on the envelope. I know it was incredibly thoughtless to send you those headphones for your birthday, and I hope you will accept this apology. I […]
Friday, April 20, 2012 // Woot
Say What You Want Superb sound quality and a sleek look that masks my schizophrenia with style? Sold. Isn’t this great, Floaty Severed Doll Head? It’s just you and me, strolling down the sidewalk, surrounded by robots and vampires, all without a care in the world. Other than the nefarious songs of the fairies, of […]
Wednesday, March 21, 2012 // Woot
God Forbid The Kid Fold A Map If you’re worried about your darling little angel, know this GPS has a “Where Am I?” feature. You’ve done all you can to raise your child properly, but soon, they’ll be out of the nest. They’ll get in their car and drive away. And then, in about six […]
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 // Woot
When The Family’s Away The wife and kids are gone for the weekend? Time to call up some friends, crank up the tunes, and party! Hey, Chris? Yeah, it’s Pauly! How are you doin’, man? Or here’s a better question: what are you doing this weekend? See, Sue decided to visit her mom and take […]
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 // Woot
Be Thankful For What You’ve Got The ultra-rich call this an iPod. Because they can just call musicians and pay them to sing. But that’s where you’re better than the ultra-rich, friends. Because can you imagine how hard it is to shuffle when the Uniden Bluetooth Headset is your source of music? Sure, it might […]
