Friday, April 26, 2013 // Woot
Look, the Woot writers are human, okay? Sometimes we run out of ideas. That’s why, from time to time, we’ll farm out the product writeup to an MFA student. Hey, if it worked for James Frey, it can work for us, right? So, today’s writeup for this Panasonic Rechargeable Sonic Toothbrush is written by Thea […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
One battery fell out of Ethan’s sleeve. Then another, then another, a whole waterfall of batteries. “You dropped your batteries,” said Janice, coming up behind Ethan in the hallway. When he didn’t move or respond, she kneeled down and began picking them up. They were Panasonics. “Wow! What do you need all these batteries for, […]
Friday, March 29, 2013 // Woot
Use this: because if the internet loves cat videos, they’re going to love catfish videos! Don’t use this: to film water itself. That won’t look like anything from the inside. Serve this product for dinner with a garnish of: sea salt. This just posted on Facebook: “There r more than 1 fish in the sea. […]
Friday, March 29, 2013 // Woot
Use this: because if the internet loves cat videos, they’re going to love catfish videos! Don’t use this: to film water itself. That won’t look like anything from the inside. Serve this product for dinner with a garnish of: sea salt. This just posted on Facebook: “There r more than 1 fish in the sea. […]
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 // Woot
Use this: because your webcam-vlog could use the excitement of some shaky cam! Don’t use this: to convince people that you have robot eyes. People know what camcorders are. Lost in the wilderness with only this product, you could survive by: making a movie about how you’re surviving in the wilderness. If you’re the main […]
Tuesday, March 12, 2013 // Woot
Use these: To ballast your vessel, the HMS Alkaline. Don’t use these: in your Billy The Big Mouth Bass. It’s time to put him to sleep, we’re afraid. Benjamin Franklin said of these: “How do I get my kite inside?” When irradiated, this product will bite you, giving you the power of: easily being replaced […]
Thursday, March 7, 2013 // Woot
As far as she knows, it’s still the same general time period as it was when she had her bobsled accident. Over time, we can slowly introduce her to all the appurtenances of 21st-century life. But first, it’s absolutely essential that she not suffer any sudden, unexpected disorientation. So I’m going to have to ask […]
Tuesday, March 5, 2013 // Woot
Use this: because your webcam-vlog could use the excitement of some shaky cam! Don’t use this: to convince people that you have robot eyes. People know what camcorders are. Lost in the wilderness with only this product, you could survive by: making a movie about how you’re surviving in the wilderness. If you’re the main […]
Friday, January 25, 2013 // Woot
The knock at the door came suddenly. Sharon was startled back to the real world, while her Blu-ray copy of Dredd continued. She was mesmerized by that one scene where the boss has those mini guns and they have to jump through a wall to escape. It was intense. Sharon assumed the knock was the […]
Saturday, January 12, 2013 // Woot
Use these: before 2018, when their beauty begins to fade. Don’t use these: to power your particle accelerator. Those things are battery HOGS. Lost in the wilderness with only this product, you could survive by: chucking them at cougars. Benjamin Franklin said of this: C’mon man, I was about to discover that. Not cool. If […]
