Friday, November 11, 2011 // Woot
You’re looking at this the wrong way. Turning your iPhone into a remote sounds stupid, unless it’s for someone else’s television. So we looked at this L5 Universal Remote and thought, “Huh. That’s kind of superfluous, isn’t it?” Is there anyone really needing to consolidate their remotes that badly that they would use this thing […]
Wednesday, November 2, 2011 // Woot
The Chilly Chair Okay, tell her if she takes that reindeer out of her office, we’ll let her have a lifeSMART Renew 1500-watt Cool Touch Infrared Quartz Heater Charlotte? Hey, you got a second? Of course, Son of Adam. Here, come sit beside me on my sledge. Let him pass, fawn, don’t be foolish. Yeah, […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
A Little of That Human Touch The store must go on. This is one of those things, you know? I mean, what are we supposed to say? If we talk about it, we’re going to look like we’re trying to cash in on a public figure’s death. And that’s tacky. Who are we, the Sir […]
Thursday, September 15, 2011 // Woot
Do you like touch screens? Look, iPhones have touch screens so now EVERYTHING gets a touch screen. Hey there, sir! Looking for a computer today! “Yeah, I need a Windows machine. Nothing too hardcore, just a home computer for web surfing, storing music and videos, the occasional spreadsheet. You know, the usual.” Ah, look no […]
Sunday, September 4, 2011 // Woot
The Man of Many FaceTimes FaceTime chat on your iPod? Listen, folks, when you’ve got a face like mine, FaceTime is all the time! Like if I’m going out to grab the mail, I’m FaceTiming everyone and every face I see. People, dogs, I even FaceTime the face of my mailbox. My favorite FaceTime is […]
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 // Woot
Butchie’s Visions This iPod touch gone an’ showed me the light, an’ I ain’t talkin’ bout the flashlight app. Now I musta been scrollin’ through the desert of unused apps on my iPod Touch for nearly two days. Y’see, with its 32 gigabytes o’space (rather’n the typical 8), a person could up an’ fill screen […]
Sunday, June 19, 2011 // Woot
Hey, if it works for the video game guys, we’ll give it a try. The wave of the future is microtransactions! So there we were, sitting around trying to figure out how to spice up this refurbished Current Generation 32GB iPod Touch deal. “What can we do to make this more exciting than just another […]
Sunday, May 22, 2011 // Woot
Now I Know How My Kid Feels When It Doesn’t Snow As Hard As He’d Hoped The problem with living like it’s your last day on Earth is that 99.9% of the time the end of the world doesn’t happen. RINNNNNNG RINNNNNNNNNG RINNNNG… Huh? Wha? HellOW MY HEAD. Ugh. Stupid bartender. Stupid Four Horsemen. Who… […]
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 // Woot
Looks Aren’t That Impor- Actually, On Second Thought… Man, the iPod touch has ruined my whole online-dating strategy. Thanks a lot, FaceTime. I had it all figured out. Post a heavily doctored photo of my somewhat better-looking younger brother to my online dating profiles. Master a mellifluous, articulate writing style that carries no hint of […]
Wednesday, April 27, 2011 // Woot
I’m Gonna Have To Call You Back, I Need To Change The Channel You can stop looking between those couch cushions, Mother and Father. I’ve done away with your remotes. Their power is mine now. For too long, I’ve kowtowed to your wishes when it comes to the TV. I’ve begged, cajoled, and been sent […]
