Monday, April 9, 2012 // Woot
Crop Aggressive, C-R-O-P Aggressive Why, yes, I WOULD say I’m an aggressive cropper. Now shut your idiot face before I slash it with this broken bottle. The esteemed cultural critic Sid Vicious said it best: 99% of everything is, um, crap. Actually, he didn’t say crap, he used a stronger word because he lived his […]
Thursday, February 23, 2012 // Woot
Just Ignore Them, They’ll Slowly Go Away Hey, Internet citizens. Grab a camera. We’re at the point where we just gotta make our own content. We don’t want to point fingers here, but someone who rhymes with “Smallywood” keeps coming in and getting all up in our business. Like, ALLL up in our business. But […]
Wednesday, February 22, 2012 // Woot
We All Gotta Grow I’m the kind of guy, when I say something, I mean it. So I’ll never own a digital camera. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at my friend Tommy’s house, playing Super Nintendo, and he said something about a camera that used a computer instead […]
Sunday, November 13, 2011 // Woot
Eye of the Beholder Look, you can keep ignoring me, but these pictures of me and my dog dressed as He-man and Battle Cat aren’t going anywhere. You didn’t invite me to your Halloween party, and yes, that upset me. But not enough to keep me from making a totally killer super-duo costume set for […]
Monday, October 31, 2011 // Woot
Lights, Camera, Cats Action What do you mean, “why” is it my dream to film an all-cat remake of the 1991 Gene Hackman legal thriller Class Action? “Why?” What kind of question is that? I don’t cross-examine my dreams, OK? Maybe you’re the kind of person who sees an exquisite butterfly flitting across a field […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
Catch A Weave Once the world sees this video, they’ll know how hard I worked for that degree in Underwater Basket-Weaving. I, for one, am sick and tired of people dismissing my major – nay, my calling – as some kind of joke. They’ll be laughing out the other side of their rattan plaits when […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
Sneak Me Into The Ballgame What’s the matter, can’t you read the signature on this consent form? It says right there, “Major League Baseball.” Forged? Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man. Looks like it’s my word against yours. So here’s what we can do: we can take the time and expense of sending this […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Cameraphobia Jessup doesn’t trust any of these tiny little cameras. Everyone else thinks they’re all the rage, but not Jessup. No way, Jessup says, “Point not your little robot eyes at me!” Jessup doesn’t want to be some big star! Jessup doesn’t want his image burned forever into a SDXC card, doesn’t want to be […]
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 // Woot
You Don’t REALLY Want A Better Camera, Do You? Yes, you can get better cameras. But do you really want to learn how to use one? You’re not some overpaid pro with hours to kill. You can’t afford to hire some Russian model to sit there and drink mineral water as you figure things out. […]
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 // Woot
Make Your Son Feel Fortunate Yes, YOU might see a bad moon rising, but other people, they think you’re talking about a bathroom. It’s the curse of the songwriter. You sit all day to figure out the most perfect words to express your feelings, and puzzle out all the meters and rhythms to make what […]
