Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
Use this: so that others can experience the fun and excitement of playing paintball without the whole giant welts all over your body thing. Don’t use this: if you’re hunting cartoon rabbits. Trust us. We’ve seen how this ends. You’re not going to come out looking like the cool guy. The thing that this product […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
“Hey Carl. Whatcha up to?” Oh, just saddlin’ up ol’ Center Point. “Is that your horse’s name? I always thought it was Buttercup.” No, I’m talkin’ about this here filly. “Wait … THAT? That’s not a horse, Carl. That’s a full-color, digital audio video camera. I don’t know where you come from, Son. But I […]
Tuesday, March 12, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to piece together memories of your former life, after the accident. Don’t use this: as an alternative to remembering anyone’s name at a party. You win at this product by: witnessing a giant meteorite explode in mid-air. Rejected Names for this Product Include: The Lil’ Blackmailer If this were a character in a […]
Friday, January 25, 2013 // Woot
Imagine it: it’s 1989. A young, innocent you buys a ticket with a feeling of excitement. The movie is Cyborg with the up-and-coming action star Jean-Claude Van Damme. It promises excitement, glory, adventure, and also, one would assume, a super-tough cyborg. Imagine your disappointment when it turns out the cyborg is the love interest and […]
Thursday, January 10, 2013 // Woot
Operative Jake Pacific looked off the deck of his winter estate. Somewhere, in the tree line, the enemy agents were gathering. Operative Jake Pacific had to send them a message. A clear message. A message that they could watch in 1280 x 720p resolution on an included SD card. Operative Jake Pacific was ready with […]
Thursday, September 6, 2012 // Woot
You see, this is my first time seeing it, which makes it the most important viewing. My reaction to the movie now, is my TRUE reaction. I may watch the movie many, many times in the future. When I buy it on DVD. From a store. In a legal manner. But those times won’t be […]
Friday, April 27, 2012 // Woot
Candle me this Sorry, Northland Security Products, but you’ve been proven wrong. Hello, I��m here to kindly ask for a refund. Why? Because you lied, Northland Security Products! That’s why! No, not about your MII Flashcam Tactical Flashlight being the world’s first tactical flashlight with a video camera, night vision technology, and audio recording all-in-one […]
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 // Woot
Look, Just Don’t Ask Questions And Buy It If you want to live in a cyberpunk future, you gotta take the good with the bad. The good? These POV 720P HD Video Sunglasses have a camera built in. That’s right, an 8MP pinhole 720P HD camera, to be precise. Pop in the Li-Polymer battery and […]
Thursday, March 22, 2012 // Woot
Vowels: they’re just so tricky! For sale: Flashcam. Still in box. I’m selling my MII Flashcam Tactical Flashlight. Purchased new online and still in all packaging. Nothing’s wrong with it as far as I know. I just misread the name when I bought it – coulda sworn that first a was an e – and […]
Thursday, February 23, 2012 // Woot
Public Private Conversations With all these debt collectors always hounding me, I’ve decided to start screening my phone calls. That’s right: I’ve cleaned out the garage, set up chairs like a theater, and starting Tuesday, I’ll be using my Optoma Neo-i Video Projector & Speaker System for iPhone & iPod to literally screen my phone […]
