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AOC 23″ 1080p LED Monitor w/ Dock

Okay, fine, I give up. No more waiting for Mr. Right; I’m going to be proactive! I’ll try one of those dating sites I hear so much about. I’ll be able to see photos nice and clearly on this AOC 23″ 1080p LED Monitor, and it’s got a dock for my iPhone or iPod so […]

Candy Empire

See what happens when you let “the people” decide which shirts to print? We end up selling stuff that looks like Mao-era Communist propaganda posters. Sure, sure, it’s got a joke about Candyland and all that. Great. But we can read the unsubtle Marxist imagery between the lines. Well, guess what, Shirt.Wooters: We still firmly […]

Kent Rasmussen Petite Sirah (3)

“I would like one bottle of the Kent Rasmussen Petite Sirah, please.” Sure, no problem. Can I just see your ID? “Uh, my ID?” Yeah. If you want to buy this wine with perfect fruit and perfect structure, you’re going to have to show me some ID. “Oh. Ok. Here ya go”. Mbadinuju Onyekachukwu? “Hmm? […]

First Alert 8 Camera DVR Security System

Hey, bro, you want security system? I see you looking at First Alert 8-Channel 8-Camera DVR Security System. You feel nervous in house, yes? Lots of fancy electronics you don’t wish to be losing, yes? Why you shy away from me, bro? I want to help you. Bro, check out security system. Is SECOND Alert […]

Asus Transformer Pad 10.1″ 16GB Tablet

If you don’t spend much time in our forums or perusing some of the other Woot sites (how many do we even have these days?) you might not know that sometimes, occasionally, every once in a great while, we get our tablets mixed up. We know, it’s hard to believe, but it has been known to […]

Razor Ultra Pro Kick Scooter

You foolish posers riding your scooters today as if you just discovered something unique. I was riding scooters like this Razor Ultra Pro Dragon Scooter while you still dabbled with bikes and skateboards. I embraced the scooter as a way of life. Kicks, flips, spinnies, and grinds became my life. Everywhere I went, I scooted. […]

Total Spa 24-Setting Combo Showerhead

Dear Mom and Dad, It was lovely to see you over Thanksgiving. After a few months using the dorm shower, I finally understood what you meant when you’d yell at me about how “one day (I’d) understand!” Today, truly, I feel I know the depth of what it truly means to be a responsible adult. […]

Ju Ju Be – Be Hip Diaper Bag -5 Patterns

Michelle was at the store looking for a baby shower gift, noticed a store associate stocking the Ju Ju Be Be Hip Diaper bags and decided to inquire about them. “Hi, I was just looking at these diaper bags. Could you tell me a little about them?” she said. “Thhhure! Thethe bagths ah weawwy awethome! […]

Masterbuilt Butterball Turkey Fryer

Fried bird, no one disputes the flavor Near misses, discourage food you’d savor Mas-ter-built Butt-er-ball fry(er) (Won’t be) Burning down your house Indoors, it’s certified to fry there Countertop, safely cooks holiday fare A-one-of-a-kind-de-sign (That won’t be) Burning down your house Grab your turkey, pour the oil, in the stainless steel fryer Porcelain-coated liner Thirty-three […]

My Bad

You think quotesmiths like Benjamin Franklin, Winston Churchill, and Mark Twain just said those things on the spur of the moment? Ha! Don’t kid yourself, those folks went through countless renditions of their quotations before releasing the final product to the public. We here at Woot have uncovered a heretofore unseen trove of first-draft quotations, […]