Thursday, November 22, 2012 // Woot
Olivia was gone. Ella was gone. Jake was gone. It was just an empty bedroom, where the KidKraft Furniture Play Set stood alone. Well, almost alone. You see, it came with a doll. The doll’s name was Janet. She hadn’t been born with that name. She’d been given it by Olivia, and Janet didn’t remember […]
Thursday, November 22, 2012 // Woot
I’m dead inside. Dead like two 6-packs of AAA batteries after an RC car bender. I’ve spun my last donut. Burned my last bit of rubber. Force-fed my last cloud of dust. It’s over, man. There’s nothing left for me. Oh sure. These Duracells are rechargeable. They can be recharged hundreds of times, actually. But […]
Thursday, November 22, 2012 // Woot
We can’t guarantee much here. That’s the point of the random shirt: a little bit of mystery. We can, however, guarantee that you WILL NOT get: A shirt hewn from a larger shirt A shirt that is only sleeves A shirt with just the word “ass” A shirt that only hunts at dawn and dusk. […]
Thursday, November 22, 2012 // Woot
We can accept that not all of our usual readers are going to make it here on Thanksgiving. We can accept only the most loyal will leave their families to check us out. We can accept that, because that’s the way it should be. Today’s not for us. It’s for you. But we’re still gonna […]
Thursday, November 22, 2012 // Woot
Hey, woah, calm down okay? You’re going to ruin this nice festive holiday gathering. I don’t see what the big deal is. I thought you’d appreciate a refurbished Purple Dyson DC41 is all. What’s with all the anger? No, I didn’t buy it “because you’re a woman.” I bought it because it’s a good vacuum […]
Wednesday, November 21, 2012 // Woot
Hi Master. Sorry to bother you. I was just noticing you were looking at that magic box again and sighing to yourself that you should get a refurbished Hisense 42″ 1080p LED HDTV and replace it. I just wanted to check in because you seem to spend a lot of time looking at this box […]
Wednesday, November 21, 2012 // Woot
Hey look I understand what you’re thinking, but it’s not what it looks like. I’m an avid birdwatcher and I was almost certain I saw a Kirtland’s Warbler in your yard. I climbed this tree to get a better look, but I was completely unaware that these branches looked in on your second floor bathroom. […]
Wednesday, November 21, 2012 // Woot
Sylvia was gone. The ghost was gone. The house was sold. And Rod was in his new condo with everything a man of his status needed in the world: a king-sized bed, an indoor jacuzzi, a huge television, and a recliner of his very own. A gentle slide and he was diagonal. Just the way […]
Wednesday, November 21, 2012 // Woot
Though they all agreed she was nuts, the whole family knew Michelle planned to go out on Black Friday for some early Christmas shopping, and they had found a creative way to tell her what they wanted. Last week, when Michelle was putting away Jake’s laundry, she couldn’t help but notice the unusual structure he […]
Wednesday, November 21, 2012 // Woot
Dear makers of the 30-Piece Twin XL Bed and Bath Set I recently purchased, I am writing this letter to notify you of some minor changes that could really help clear up some issues I and probably lots of other customers are having with the product. Overall the quality is fine and all that, I […]
