Monday, April 1, 2013 // Woot
Yes, Woot wades into the home-improvement fray today, and the only way to make this news bigger is to literally make it bigger. Just hook this this Optoma HD projector up to your laptop, find a wall with about 25 feet of diagonal space, and hold on to your butt joint. Every drill bit, every […]
Monday, April 1, 2013 // Woot
My pitch for a super hero movie: Okay, so you open on this cat, okay, and you’re like, wha??? Just a cat? Except you’re not because you paid for a ticket and you’re in a movie theater, so you know this isn’t going to just be a shot of a cat for three hours (unless […]
Monday, April 1, 2013 // Woot
Is there anything sexier than a man drinking a dark, smokey wine with a firm tannin structure while operating an oscillating tool? The answer to that is … yes. There are definitely sexier things than that. But still. Look at him standing over there, manly, callused hand wrapped around that delicate glass of ripe blackberry, […]
Monday, April 1, 2013 // Woot
It’s April Fool’s Day, and you know what that means! Lot’s of juvenile pranks. You could, for instance, purchase this oscillating tool on our new Tools & Garden site and pretend to chop off a finger to squirt fake blood all over your mom. It might give her a heart attack, but once she pulls […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to tell the TV schedulers that they’re not the boss of you! Don’t use this: as your backup quarterback, New York Jets! Oh wait, someone already made that joke? ABORT! ABORT! When this product doesn’t want to go to dinner with you, it uses this excuse: “How about you go, and I’ll stay […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
Keen Trails: Non-marking rubber outsole and compression-molded PU midsole. Chemtrails: Intense hallucinogens that infiltrate our water supply and make us receptive to the subliminal messages of obedience and subservience embedded in our mass media. Keen Trails: TrailRunner Magazine 2011 Editors’ Choice winner. Chemtrails: Experiments by an agency so secret even the CIA has never heard […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
Spring Break 1999. Aspen. First day on skis. Ever. Unrealistically optimistic I’ll be expertly navigating moguls by lunchtime. Hour 1. Beginner’s lesson. Harder than anticipated, but I got this. I SO got this. Hours 2-3. Bunny slope. Nailed it. Ready to move on to bigger and better. Green circle, perhaps? Chair goes up and up […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
Oh you didn’t know? I thought it was common knowledge that when you put a baby in a swing with TruSpeed technology after midnight and feed it while rotating the 180? tri-directional seat, it multiplies. Yeah. Guess you should have paid better attention in Sex-Ed class instead of cracking jokes, huh? It’s gonna be OK […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
One battery fell out of Ethan’s sleeve. Then another, then another, a whole waterfall of batteries. “You dropped your batteries,” said Janice, coming up behind Ethan in the hallway. When he didn’t move or respond, she kneeled down and began picking them up. They were Panasonics. “Wow! What do you need all these batteries for, […]
Sunday, March 31, 2013 // Woot
Now widely recognized as one of the most influential and often-performed works in modern t-shirt composition, Spring Dream’s avant-garde character was too much for contemporary critics, who judged it a failure. The audience at its 2013 premiere greeted the opening bars with derisive laughter. Composer qetza, enraged and humiliated, left his set and retreated to […]
