Thursday, November 22, 2012 // Woot
Hey, woah, calm down okay? You’re going to ruin this nice festive holiday gathering. I don’t see what the big deal is. I thought you’d appreciate a refurbished Purple Dyson DC41 is all. What’s with all the anger? No, I didn’t buy it “because you’re a woman.” I bought it because it’s a good vacuum […]
Friday, November 16, 2012 // Woot
Ernie knocked on the door to 3B. The woman who answered the door last time had said that she was in the market for a Dyson, and to come back next time he had one. He was sure she was going to love this DC25 with its 220 airways of constant suction power and the […]
Thursday, November 1, 2012 // Woot
Bwfrork looked down upon the tear-streaked faces of his wife, Lllarf, and their two children, Wokk and Sally. He knew this might be the last time he saw them, but he put on a brave face. “GLOOP BLARDS UUUUUUUGH,” he said to them. Which loosely translated means, “Don’t be sad, my little ones. Daddy will […]
Monday, October 29, 2012 // Woot
What is it? asked the other robots. What happened to this planet? But the iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum had no answer, because the iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum could not speak. It took some time for the robots to build a device that let them speak to the little iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum. Once it was […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
Ernie stood on the stoop of the home he once shared with Marjorie, double bouquet of red roses in hand. He had a lot of explaining to do. And groveling. It was going to take a lot of groveling. But he was confident he could win her back. He dusted off the shoulders of his […]
Tuesday, October 23, 2012 // Woot
You want to know a secret? I actually started out in janitorial, if you can believe it! And what’s even crazier than that, I’ve only been here a week! How is that even possible? I’ll explain! You see, it was my second day, and I was just doing my job – using my map to […]
Tuesday, October 16, 2012 // Woot
A smirk crossed Roomba’s face as she watched the scene from her self-charging station. “Boy, you’ve really outdone yourself this time,” said her Virtual Wall. “What?” Roomba responded with mock innocence. “Oh don’t pretend like you didn’t do that on purpose. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re up on eBay by the end of the […]
Thursday, October 11, 2012 // Woot
Ernie rolled over and lit a cigarette. “Hey, Toots. Whaddya say you get in that kitchen and rustle us up some grub? I’m gonna need my strength. Got a big day lined up with that Dyson DC34 over there.” Brandi removed her tassels and placed them on the nightstand. She pulled the sheet up to […]
Wednesday, October 10, 2012 // Woot
Okay, sure: it’s got a bagless Easy Empty Dirt Cup and its exclusive helix system protects the motor while extending filter life. And sure its Dual edge cleaning helps you get to hard to reach places. But c’mon, let’s not overlook the creepy feature here: the automatic cord rewind. Think about it: at best, the […]
Tuesday, October 9, 2012 // Woot
Hey! Landlady! Come in! Hope you dig my new pad. Crazy, right? Like I told my friend Neil, I never figured I’d ever stop travelin’. Man, I saw it all, all of this wild, untamed, glorious nation. And I had so many adventures too. Like in that corner, that’s the dirt from my time in […]
