iRobot Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A smirk crossed Roomba’s face as she watched the scene from her self-charging station.

“Boy, you’ve really outdone yourself this time,” said her Virtual Wall.

“What?” Roomba responded with mock innocence.

“Oh don’t pretend like you didn’t do that on purpose. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re up on eBay by the end of the week,” continued Virtual Wall.

Roomba scoffed at the idea. It was ludicrous. She and Craig were kindred spirits. His heart was as empty as her bagless dirt bin. And despite all his best efforts with that mousy-haired hussy, Roomba knew she was the only one who could fill it.

“It’s not my fault she’s so clumsy. She didn’t even look when she stepped down off that ladder. She could have done irreparable damage to my rotating bristle brush.”

“Speaking of damage, look at that ankle. It’s all purple and swollen up three times its regular size,” said Virtual Wall.

Roomba smiled triumphantly. Craig and Danielle had gotten off to a rocky start, and if this most recent episode wasn’t enough to drive the tramp away, nothing was.

“I don’t know what you’re so proud of,” said Virtual Wall. “Look at the way he’s tending to her. I’d say your little scheme backfired.”

But Roomba knew better. She knew what Craig was in to, and it certainly wasn’t high maintenance. He needed a woman like her, simple to operate. Just press the Clean button and she’ll take care of the rest.

Danielle was a dirty spot that needed a quick clean-up. And as long as Roomba detected her presence, she wouldn’t stop until the mess was gone for good.

• Dimensions: 3.6″(H) x 13.4″(D)
• Weight: 8.3 lbs

In the box:

• iRobot Roomba 530
• Virtual Wall 
• Self-charging Home Base
• Power Supply (3 hour charge time)
• Rechargeable Battery
• Filter

Woot