Saturday, September 29, 2012 // Woot
Roomba scooted across the floor, dutifully cleaning the area as she always did, slowing only when she got near Craig. There was something wrong with him, a spot on his heart that yearned to be cleaned, she could feel it in her sensors, and her sturdy Bristle Brush ached to clean it for him. “Look […]
Tuesday, September 25, 2012 // Woot
Ever since the break-in, things had been weird between Brant and Lesley. Brant was playing it off as PTSD, but was afraid it might be something bigger. And handsomer. And more exotic. Like a certain raven-haired heroic neighbor he knew. This morning, he found Lesley happily whistling away while vacuuming the sofa with a new […]
Friday, September 21, 2012 // Woot
“Hey Mister, spare some change?” “Sorry.” “Come on.” “What? I don’t have any. And you’re just gonna spend it on booze.” “That’s not true at all. You’re making judgments based on appearance.” “Ah, jeez, fine. Here. That’s all I have.” “That’s it? Mister I’m trying to get enough money to get a refurbished Dyson DC25 […]
Wednesday, September 12, 2012 // Woot
Mike is a professional. Ask him what kind of a professional, however, and you just get a sort of unsettling sideways grin. He moved into the building six months ago to keep an eye on that chain-smoking broad with the attitude problem, and he was being paid very handsomely to do so. He never asks […]
Saturday, September 1, 2012 // Woot
Your wife will just love this Dyson Digital Slim Vacuum. It only weighs 4.85 pounds, so her weak, febrile wrists will be able to hold it up. And she won’t damage her unmentionable baby-producing parts by hauling it up and down the stairs. It’s powered by Root Cyclone technology and a Dyson digital motor, which […]
Wednesday, August 29, 2012 // Woot
She finally had it! The evidence she needed to prove that Raoul was a robot. As Lesley sat on the floor in front of the dismantled Bissell PowerClean Rewind vacuum, her sense of satisfaction slowly melted away to the realization that she may actually be crazy. Like certifiable. What else would drive an otherwise logical […]
Monday, August 27, 2012 // Woot
It had been almost two months since Hank won the Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum off Nestoras. And since then, Hank’s apartment had been spotless. Except for the pile of dirty clothes near the bed. Hank reasoned he needed to have some obstacles in the way to use the Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic […]
Friday, August 24, 2012 // Woot
Ernie was 100% genuine Americana, a dusty relic of a bygone era. The days of the door-to-door salesmen were long gone. The proliferation of online shopping over the past 15 plus years had made sure of that. Truthfully, however, sales hadn’t been all that steady for more than 20. Still, he got up every morning, […]
Thursday, August 16, 2012 // Woot
Lesley heard the noise again. The sound of Raoul’s Dyson DC23 Canister Vacuum. She still felt her heart leap as it always had… but this time, it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same at all. This time… she was afraid of his perfection. Lesley huddled under a pillow as the Level 3 Root Cyclone […]
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 // Woot
Have you seen her lately? Yeah, she pretty much looks amazing. She lost a lot of weight. Everyone’s calling her “Slim.” I’d kill to know her secret. I really need to watch my diet. I usually just hoover up whatever the kids drop on the floor. Ok, the dogs too. I know, it’s humiliating. I […]
