Wednesday, January 9, 2013 // Woot
If we don’t learn from history, we’re doomed to repeat it. Some dinosaurs weighed upwards of 40 tons. FORTY TONS! Do you know how much you have to eat to maintain mass that size? I can’t even imagine the refined sugars and starches those things were scarfing down. If you ask me, they brought it […]
Wednesday, January 9, 2013 // Woot
The Son of the Western Sky had come a long way, and from meager beginnings. He was born in a sun-blasted hovel, where the ground cracked and baked all day, then steamed all night. His people survived, barely, by draining cacti and using the husks for shade. If the Sun was not dangerous enough, they […]
Wednesday, January 9, 2013 // Woot
Boy, when I was being assembled in the Onkyo factory, I heard all the fairytales about how an audio component could just one day see a face in the crowd and fall in love, but I never believed it. Not until today. That’s right, I’m talking to you, stranger. How you doin’? Until just moments […]
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 // Woot
Use these: if you want to say, “Music lights up my life… LITERALLY!!!” Don’t use these: if you hear light and see sounds. In fact, maybe you should stop “listening” to this computer or smart phone screen and go see the doctor. If these are buried in a field, what grows in their place is: […]
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to ascend higher in the ranks of the Knives of Columbus. Don’t use this: to pull a Pagoda from The Royal Tenenbaums. The experts say: the gray titanium nitride coating is “The grayest coating on the market.” If you owned this, people would say: “That’s not a — my apologies, sir. I was […]
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 // Woot
Sylvia grabbed a glass and placed it under the revolving liquor dispenser, adding a shot each of vodka, gin, rum and tequila. She topped it with a splash of Coke and pushed it towards Pamela. “You know we’re not supposed to drink while we’re working,” Pamela said while looking over her shoulder for the bar […]
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 // Woot
When Tim came in, Michelle was sitting on the edge of the couch, nervously tapping her leg. Whatever it was, Tim knew it wasn’t going to be good. “Uh oh. What is it?” he said. “It’s your son, Tim,” Michelle said, stressing the “your” part. “I think it’s time.” Tim’s face grew hot. He had […]
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 // Woot
A lot of folks wonder if cast iron is right for them. “Isn’t it difficult to take care of?” they wonder, “What if I drop it on my toe?” they ask. Cast iron pans aren’t for everyone, so here’s our official Woot Cast Iron Pro/Con List to determine if this pan’s for you: PRO: If […]
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 // Woot
“As your doctor, I just want to explain the ramifications and risks of this surgery.” “OK.” “I’m sure you know, but Avian Reassignment Surgery is no trivial matter. It requires a major overhaul of physiological and anatomical systems.” “I understand. It’s just that I’ve known since I was young enough to remember that I should […]
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 // Woot
“Ahhh. Pinot Noir. The fragrance of choice for 12-year-old boys circa 1992.” I’m pretty sure you mean “Drakkar Noir” the cologne. Pinot Noir is a wine. Like this 2007 Eastburn Vineyards Estate with racy tannins and lovely notes of plum. “Well whatever it was, it singed the nostrils. Smelled like a mixture of wet dog […]
