Thursday, December 20, 2012 // Woot
Poor giant wine glass. Where does it fit in this world? Too small to be a punch bowl. Too large to be carried around casually without making you look like a clown with a drinking problem. In Japan where miniatures are lauded for their adorability, the Big Bordeaux Wine Glass is shunned. Even in the […]
Thursday, December 20, 2012 // Woot
“You guys have to check out my Toshiba CAMILEO Full HD Camcorder the next time you’re over. It’s awesome!” “Well, let’s see it.” “Oh, I don’t have it with me right now; I wasn’t planning on recording anything. But it shoots full 1080p HD and it’s got a 23x optical zoom PLUS a 120x digital […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
Wow, I never thought I’d be up here on this stage! This is like a dream come-true for me, you know? Imagine me, Jake Violent, getting the most important rock award that exists here in the future! Yeah, when I formed “Violent Street Gang” back in the early 2020s, I said it was about expressing […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. Now that I have this BenQ Short-Throw DLP Projector I can relive the majesty of Chevy Chase’s grand comedy career. All the hits are going to be larger than life: The Groove Tube, the one year he was on SNL before flaming out in disgrace, […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
Use this: to prove to all the haters that Celine was right: your heart really does go on. Don’t use this: if your wrist is made of titanium. The feature that they don’t want you to know about: this thing steals every 3,049,857,383rd heartbeat. If this were a character in a sitcom, its catchphrase would […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
The drama was subsiding, her relationship with Phil was growing, it was almost time for the holidays and, in just a few minutes, her Ginsu 4-Piece Steak Knife Set would be clean and ready to use. It was enough to make her want to sing along with her iPod. One knife I think I’ll use […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
Ella stood quietly before the Big Wheel 16 Inch Spinout Racer. Not because she was afraid. Because she was showing respect. Respect for the ride that, one day, would help her conquer the street. There was a noise at the garage door. Ella turned, shocked … to see Olivia. Nodding. With a kind face. “I […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
Sure, it might just look like a set of three knives, but there is legend that, when the time comes, they will combine powers to form a new knife, a knife the likes of which this world has never seen before, but a knife that this world needs. When will the time be right? Whenever […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
Welcome, incoming Freshmen. I stand before you today excited for what lies ahead of you. I do need to clarify some things, though, since we’ve had a recent plague of misguided enrollment. Yes, you will be learning all manner of amazing thing, but pop culture may have misled you in just how applicable that knowledge […]
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
She milled nervously around the kitchen, trying to distract herself from the oven timer slowly ticking down second-by-second. In precisely 3 minutes and 21 seconds … 20 seconds … 19 seconds, she’d have her answer. Would it be the triumphant flavor of perfectly browned puffed pastry, or the chewy defeat of overcooked tenderloin? Only time […]
