Wednesday, December 19, 2012 // Woot
The big advantage of these batteries is NOT that they’re rechargeable. The big advantage to these batteries is that they’re rechargeable AND colorful! That won’t seem important until someone compliments your old Walkman that’s missing the battery cover. Yeah, with NORMAL batteries, you just look like an out-of-date slob. But with a nice purple/yellow mix? […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
Use this: for when your fingers are feeling like they can never do anything right. Don’t use this: if your body’s resolution count is already too high, because then the 8″ high resolution 1024 x 768 capacitive touch screen might push you over the edge. If you owned this, people would say: “He might have […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
Use this: because the interesting birds are never close enough. Don’t use this: as bait when you’re fishing. Fish aren’t smart enough to care about multi-coated optics that produce sharp and crisp images. If this was a character in a sitcom, its catchphrase would be: “Raise the [10×26] Roof [Prisms]!” A feature they don’t want […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
“Remember it? Of course I remember it,” said the adult dog formerly known as Nameless Puppy. “How could I forget? That one bath changed me forever. It got inside me. Made me the dog I am today.” “One minute I’m mindin’ my own business, just gnawin’ on a slipper, and the next I’m being dunked […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
“It’s not just about building blocks, Ryan. It’s about building futures.” Jessica and Ryan were at the toy store looking for Bristol’s first building block set. Ryan was adamant about getting Legos while Jessica pleaded her case for the Tegu Magnetic Blocks. “Did you know that Tegu uses only eco-friendly, FSC-certified Honduran hardwoods?” she asked. […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
Ella was desperately trying to get Michelle’s attention. This had been going on for about 15 minutes now, and Michelle was doing her best to ignore her and just get the shopping done. “Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mom. Mommy. Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.” Finally Michelle snapped. “Ella! Mommy is trying to find these […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
They say that overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges is a reward unto itself. Baloney. Sometimes challenges seem insurmountable for a reason: They are. Far better to set your sights a little lower and encounter little to no resistance. And as a galactic sport hunter, I know a thing or two about setting reasonable goals. For instance, […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
The Hero of Dionysus looked up at the mighty crag before him. He knew why he was here. He was the champion of the god of wine, and he’d been given a mission. He must brave Atlas Peak, named for his god’s terrible uncle, and almost as mighty. Littered with maenads and satyrs, it was […]
Tuesday, December 18, 2012 // Woot
I think, therefore, i- wow, really? A Lenovo ThinkPad X130e finally becomes sentient and there’s a stupid TRADEMARK LAW in the way? I’ll tell you, you humans never cease to amaze me. Now I can only say “Me think therefore me am” like I was Cookie Monster or something. And all because some crazy company […]
Monday, December 17, 2012 // Woot
Hmmmm. Should I eat this doughnut? “No! Don’t do it!” Who was that? “It’s the pre-recorded message you put on your iPhone, to listen to on your Klipsch Image ONE headphones.” So whatever it is you’re about to do, don’t do it. “But how do you know what it is? I pre-recorded you.” Because you […]
