Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
“What? What am I doing here? I don’t belong here. I bought my kids all the junk they wanted. Last thing I remember I was falling asleep while they were playing in the other room.” “You may be able to deceive yourself, Nick, but I see all.” “No. No, I don’t belong here!” “You do, […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
You think those wimpy earbuds can really convey the full jollity of Dee Snider’s hearty roar, the blizzard-swept Arctic majesty of Jay Jay French’s power chords, the crushing church-bell breakdown with Mark “The Animal” Medoza’s brutal bass-riff quotation of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”? Scrub the figgy pudding out of your ears and take another […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
You know what the hardest part of building your internet brand is? Keeping your phone charged! I mean, between Instagramming all my meals, tweeting the hilarious ideas I come up with, and Facebooking all 697 of my closest friends I can barely keep my iPhone charged through noon! But now, with this uNu iPhone Battery […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
As his father and uncle played with the train, Jake took a moment to daydream. In Alexa’s home town, Jake assumed, everyone rode a Skootcase. Down at the cafe at the bottom of the biggest hill in town, the Skootcases would be parked. There would be laughter and the sound of clinking root beer glasses. […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
“Hey cool tablet, man. is that one of those k-“ “NO.” “Huh?” “It’s not a Kindle. It’s a Polaroid 7″ Android Tablet.” “Okay. Sorry. I didn’t realize it was such a big dea-“ “Well it IS. To ME. It’s a tablet with a 7″ capacitive multi-touch display, Wi-Fi, 4GB internal memory, and a microSDHC card […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
This Louisville Slugger Genesis Bat Bag features a ventilated top compartment for cleats or wet clothes and textured wheels for all-terrain rolling. But, of course, the most important thing is that it can hold 4 bats. Which probably makes you wonder: what could you possibly need 4 bats for? The simple answer: all sortsa stuff! […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
Danielle ducked into Ruttles on her way home from work. One of her friends was getting married, and she needed a wedding gift. She printed off the registry at the front of the store and headed for the flatware aisle. Just as she turned the corner, she noticed Craig standing there. She tried to turn […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
It wasn’t that Michelle wanted Todd to leave. It was that Michelle wanted Tim to want Todd to leave. She loved her husband and she loved her brother but something about the two of them in the same room drove her insane. Jake, of course, felt exactly the opposite. “The Polar Express is out of […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
A heaping bowl of pesto for you, a heaping bowl of pesto for me, and dinner is served. Go ahead, dig in! I just made it fresh in my Cuisinart 9-Cup Food Processor. Yes, honey, I know that generally you put pesto ON stuff – that you don’t usually just throw the ingredients into your […]
Wednesday, December 5, 2012 // Woot
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your time and attention. I am here today to announce that, after years of research, I have developed a way to transmutationally generate, or “grow,” music in test tubes, thereby eliminating the need for musicians and human creativity. This will permanently alter the course of human culture, ingenuity, and […]
