Friday, December 7, 2012 // Woot
One treadmill? Man, don’t you know anything about treadmill gangs? They always bring their friends and they never walk alone. Except, of course, when they’re quietly exercising in front of the TV. And even then, they look tough. The F63 treadmill has been called “simply the best” by those in the know. And they’d better. […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
Some of this cheese is blue with moldy veins I’d go for some Jack on this winter’s day I’d be creamy and smooth if I was chevre today California cheeses on such a winter’s day Spread some on a cracker I brought for lunch today Well, I got down on my knees and I just […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
DAYBREAK New York City The light burrows its way through the early morning fog, needling through the lanes between skyscrapers. The Silver Falcon sits perched atop a gargoyle, surveying his city from high above. His ribs still ache and groan from the battle with ElectroRaptor. His neo-biomechanical armor sparks and stutters as it begins the […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
Use this: to scare away airplanes that are getting into your camp food. Don’t use this: every time you double park to get doughnuts. Few people are aware that: being visible from two miles is a trait shared with Actor Brian Cox. If you dropped this in the toilet, it would: turn your bathroom into […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
Okay, calm down, I get it: you’re upset because you thought we’d be sleeping on an ornate, fanciful bed in our first apartment instead of this Insta-Bed Queen Air Mattress with Pump I picked up. But honestly I feel like that’s more your fault for having unrealistic expectations. I mean, we’re 22. It’s our first […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
Honor could see James down at the front, and Byron close beside him. She took the seat closest to the door, in the back. She had her dog-eared copy of the script and her Fleur de Sel caramels in her bag. “You are a ninja, young man! You have a code of honor!” “And yet, […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
It had been a long week. Like, a REALLY long week. After the Amanda debacle at the store, and the fact that Tim and Todd just couldn’t seem to get enough of each other, Michelle really needed some liquid refreshment of the adult variety. Or better yet, a SLUSHY refreshment of the adult variety. She […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
You should use your CamelBak Groove .6L Filtered Bottle: if you want crisp, clean water on the go. Thanks to a sustainable, plant-based filter, you won’t have to deal with the nasty taste of chlorine whenever you take a sip. We use our CamelBak Groove .6L Filtered Bottle: as inspiration for songs. Like, “I want […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
“Hey.” “Hey.” “Oh, hey” “Oh, hi there.” “Hi.” “Whatcha doing?” “Smelling.” “OK.” “Eating.” “Cool.” “Chewing up Kleenex to make a nest for myself.” “Awesome.” “What about you?” “What?” “Oh, hi.” “Hi, I remember you. Ummmm, I’m just, you know, going to go over here and — ow.” “What?” “I donno. I ran into something invisible […]
Thursday, December 6, 2012 // Woot
Hey, is that Doc Holliday? Oh, man, nobody told me that Doc Holliday was going to be at this Christmas party. I didn’t even- oh, hey, Doc! Great to see you! Hey, love that hat, is that a new hat? No? Same one you wore with the Earp gang? Oh, well, guess it’s just this […]
