Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
“Hey man, me and Jamie are heading down to the-“ “DOESN’T ANYONE KNOCK?!” “What…what the hell is that?” “What? Nothing. PBS.” “That’s not PBS. What the hell were you watching?” “Foreign cinema, if you must know. I’m a bit of a film buff.” “Oh I can see you’re fond of the buff.” “SHUT UP. I […]
Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
You should use your 2 pack of Wilson NFL Street Glow Footballs: to play some nighttime football without worrying about getting hurt, thanks to its cushioned cover. We use our 2 pack of Wilson NFL Street Glow Footballs: for keeping track of our keys. How? It’s simple: just loop the key ring through the lace […]
Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
“What’s your name, baby? Oh, you don’t talk? Well, I guess I can see it right on that little plate you’re wearing. LifeSmart Quartz, huh? That’s a club name if I ever heard one. But that’s cool, I don’t want to get too serious.” “So you’ve got some heat under there, don’t you? Mmm-MMM! You’re […]
Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
“Amanda, I totally appreciate your concern. But honestly, I think this art desk is perfect for Ella.” Michelle and Amanda were doing their annual stake-out of all the Black Friday sales, and as usual, Amanda had some reservations. “This thing is great! Not only will the tilt top surface make it more comfortable for Ella […]
Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
“‘Take the shot,’ you said.” Derek Rand stared at D from the other side of the dark room. “Oh, come now, Rand,” snapped D. “In our business, that means nothing. And anyway, we both know your sport drive was waterproof.” Rand winced as he slid off his dinner jacket. The bruise from the paintball gun […]
Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
What can I get started for you, sir? “Yeah, could I get a trenti venti-pump raspberry pomegranate vanilla mango triple-frothed quad-buzz cracked black pepper spearmint double-black-diamond orange-ified Vatican-sanctioned marble unreliably narrated ambidextrous ship-sinking bi-wedge pork bellied high-fidelity mistletoe mocha latte, please?” Sure thing, sir. Whip cream on that? “No thanks! Don’t want to complicate the […]
Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
You are a Pinot I took a peek Bottled by Expression 44 degrees Your taste is balanced But you must see We can’t Be sure What you will be You will get two Yes, you will get two Sent to you straight away They’ll come right to you But they’ll be random Chosen at random […]
Saturday, November 17, 2012 // Woot
You awake to find yourself in a damp, dusky room with almost no light. As your senses come to bear, you realize it is your own bedroom. Underwear and empty Gushers packaging litter the floor. Suddenly, a small computer monitor flickers to light on your desk, revealing a deal-a-day website selling a variety of AOC […]
Friday, November 16, 2012 // Woot
Let us just start by saying that this system WORKS. In fact, we’re using ours right now. To watch you. That’s right, we’ve got all 8 of our cameras pointed at you! RIGHT NOW! And we’re recording every minute of your day in 704×480 resolution so that we can know that that you’re making the […]
Friday, November 16, 2012 // Woot
“Want to take a guess why I’ve called you in here again, Jerry?” “I assume it’s some sort of award for exemplary service.” “No. Not even close. It’s the knife. You know it’s the knife.” “My CRKT Pazoda Folding Knife? What seems to be the issue?” “You know what the issue is. It’s the same […]
