Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
See, originally I figured the Hitachi Micro Driver Drill would offer me a chance to work on my home or my car or whatever, and the Hitachi Right Angle Impact Driver would make it easy to get those tight spaces where a drill just can’t reach. Little did I know the Hitachi Micro Driver Drill […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
This is what’s wrong with the country today. Some plumber tears through the kingdom absolutely DEMOLISHING all the brickwork in the land and who comes to the rescue? The masons. Of course. Unions sticking up for unions, as usual. And who’s supposed to bankroll all this “reconstruction?” Oh, I guess we’ll just let big government […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
A man. Alone. With his dinner. In a room. A room full of one thing. Twelve bottles of wine. Which technically might be twelve things. Plus the dinner. Plus the man. And probably the table. And maybe some silverware. Okay, we’re gonna start again. One man: alone. The only company: his dinner. As part of […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
5-course, price-fixed menu: Course 1: Energy Take speaker chips served with spinach and low distortion dip. Course 2: Cup of cream of Energy Take speaker soup, garnished with keyhole slots, threaded inserts, and rubber bumpers for mounting. Course 3: Baked Energy Take speaker cake, served on bed of rice, sprinkled with aluminum-dome tweeter aioli. Course […]
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // Woot
Do you have cats, but live in an apartment where they can’t go outside? That’s where I come in. You see, I’ll walk your cats on a leash outside for a small fee. Why do I wear these video-recording goggles? For two reasons: (a) The cats hate being walked, and try to scratch my eyes […]
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // Woot
Captain’s Log, Day 17: It is safe to say that the men are now entirely disenchanted with the voyage. And, honestly, I cannot blame them. We have been rowing for 17 days now, and our ship has yet to leave the beach. So, that the men are wary is no surprise. It is their wild […]
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // Woot
Ernie popped the champagne and laughed as it spilled over onto the Dyson DC17. “Whoops! Looks like I’m just gonna have to sell this one as refurbished! Any takers?” The room broke into laughter that slid into applause. “You could do it, too!” shouted Ernie’s boss. “My number one guy! Number one!” Ernie blushed and […]
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // Woot
Donald noticed it first. “What is that, man? Some kinda vulture? Ricky sipped at his drink. “That’s a stork, I think. Alex shook his head. “Why would a stork be around here?” Donald didn’t have an answer. But he did notice the Chicco Cortina Stroller the stork was walking towards. There wasn’t much to say, […]
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // Woot
As an audiophile, people hate me. I’m always finding ways to belittle every aspect of my friends’ musical “taste,” whether it’s the actual “music” they listen to, or the medium on which they play it. You see, I firmly believe that vinyl is the ONLY way to consume the Terpsichorean muse, but my vocal defense […]
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // Woot
Thank you for calling Woodland Insurance. Please have your policy number ready. If this is an emergency, then please follow along like everyone else. What, you think you deserve special treatment because you’re in trouble? You think everyone else called to just chat? C’mon! If you’re calling to make a payment, press 1. If you’re […]
