Monday, September 24, 2012 // Woot
Millicent pushed past the movers in the doorway and strode towards Rod. “You’re too late. She’s already gone,” he told her as he wrote “LOVE SWING ACCESSORIES” on the side of a large brown box. Then, after slapping a Fragile sticker on the top, he stepped back and motioned for her to follow him towards […]
Monday, September 24, 2012 // Woot
There’s a magical day in every young girl’s life. That day when she sits down, picks up a pen, and writes notes for her first musical. Based on Olivia’s notebook, that day has finally arrived for her. And possibly her family, if she can convince them of her genius. Before you make the proposal, you’ve […]
Monday, September 24, 2012 // Woot
We asked dentists all over America if they would recommend using this Kuhn Rikon Can & Jar Opener Set over using your teeth to open cans and jars, and we’ll let the results speak for themselves: 50% – How did you get in my office? 22% – I’m calling the police! 15% – Don’t touch […]
Monday, September 24, 2012 // Woot
Every year, when the trees got crusty, Mr. Fallwinter would pick them and blow off the dead leaves to make a wish. His wish every year: for fall to keep going and for winter never to happen. In a perfect world, Mr. Fallwinter believed, fall would lead directly to spring. Every year at around the […]
Monday, September 24, 2012 // Woot
Okay, I highly DOUBT that YOU read the Constitution as often as I DO, so I just wanted to let you know about a little tidbit hidden in there. 32nd Amendment states, “All wine glasses that do not carry wine for a period exceeding 97 days can no longer be referred to as ‘wine glasses’ […]
Monday, September 24, 2012 // Woot
SMARMY NEWSCASTER: This is Clyde Brinkley reporting live from the scene of what is already being called the world’s most destructive natural disaster, the Vornado. I have been told it is a tornado that originates from the crater of a volcano, and that it moves at speeds up to 200 miles per hour while flinging […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
Hoo boy, we’ve really got to thank the folks at Apple. Not only do they render their own super-desirable iPhones and iPods obsolete every two years to generate a steady stream of no-longer-desirable-to-early-adopting-brand-zombies goods for bottom feeders like us to sell off, but now they’ve taken it to a whole new level by changing the […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
Yeah dude! It just walked into my sight – the biggest buck I ever saw. It was amazing! It was majestic! It was… well, here, why don’t I show you. Yeah, I got the whole thing recorded on my Midland Sports Camo Action Camera, so I can share the experience with anyone. It’s a pretty […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
Sixty-five years. That’s how long they had been married. Marjorie took a sip of the macchiato she had just made on her new Jura J5 Espresso Center and reflected on her time with Ernie. The doctor said she should give up espresso and switch to decaf coffee. Doctors. What do they know? “If I’m going […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
“Choo! Choo! Here comes the baby express! Spare me,” thought Ella. “Everyone knows that alphabet puzzles are so 12-18 months ago.” So she pushed it aside and moved on to the one of the US maps. She gave bonus points for the pieces being cut to the shapes of the states, but it was all […]
