Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Oh, you brought your laptop to class. Neat. I’m sorry to bother you, but is there a reason you’ve got your laptop open? I mean, it’s Philosophy 101. It’s pretty much universally known as a cakewalk class. We don’t even really take notes, we just debate whatever Sophist argument we read the night before. It’s […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
That ‘70s Monkey Have a nice AAAAAAAAH aa-AH AAAAAAAAH aa-AH Mellow out in the most nerve-racking style imaginable with this plush, screeching “toy” slingshot monkey. And we mean “toy” in the same sense that the medieval Iron Maiden was a “maiden”: as a grimly ironic euphemism for torture. If you’re not yet familiar with the […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Bizarroballs Far away, in an office on a planet that looks a lot like ours, except with corners… “Bad morning, Kram. Me must have listen with you!” “OK, Asil. Me am your supervisor, so me must do everything you say.” “Lower management have issues with your performance. Say you too productive at work.” “What me […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Low heart rate C’mon, Gerald, get up. I know you’re not actually dead. You’re not a good actor. That’s what gave it away. The whole “If you will not be mine Evelyn, than I shall die of a broken heart” speech was bad enough, but then the way you fell on the floor slowly so […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
The players might not be playing, and the owners might not be owning, but that’s not going to stop this writer from writing about what SHOULD be happening on the hardwood. Part 1 of a series that will last until the lockout is over. And yes, NBA, that is a threat. 11/1/11 – Opening Night: […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Tripophenia Man, I just wanted to go to the seaside and take some photos. I didn’t expect some kinda hipster riot. I mean, I was just happy walking around with my Sunpak Pro 423PX Carbon Fiber Tripod and maybe enjoying the sea air, but then these two crazy gangs come up and- well, I guess […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Oh quit whining. Look, do you want a dentist who’s conventional or a dentist who gets the job done? Just calm down, Jerry. I know it can be tough adjusting to a new dentist, but I assure you I’m completely qualified to- “Get the hell away from me with that thing!” Relax! This is just […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
I’m like the Phil Collins of this office! I’m playin’ ALL the hits no one wants to hear! Things around here sure have picked up since I went ahead and splurged on this Dream Cheeky 18 USB Drum Kit! Don’t worry about reimbursing me, guys, the delight in your eyes is payment enough. Besides, I’m […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Welcome Back I just couldn’t do it, Ma. We got all the way out to the woods, but I just could put the thing out of its misery. I know we told the boys we were sending the Sony Dash Personal Internet Viewer off to the “Happy Gadget Store,” but when I looked into the […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Now’s The Time Buy this watch or risk being alone for the rest of your life. It’ll happen, I’m telling you. You’ll be out somewhere, minding your own business without a care in the world when suddenly you’ll hear the most magical voice ever to dance across your eardrums. “Excuse me,” it chimes, “but do […]
