Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Mister, You’ve Got Some Balls Ow! Hey! Uh, honey, why are you throwing- oh. Oh, I get it. You found out the truth about that “golfing trip” I took last weekend. OK, OK, OK, listen, listen, so you found the OW! balls and you know I didn’t OW! play golf. So, funniest thing, we were […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Straight lines and 90 degree angles to the rescue In a town overtaken by hostile circles, a prophet had a vision of a rectangle that could save them all. “Tell us more,” said the townspeople. All of them were packed tightly into schoolhouse. The prophet stood at the front of the room. “Unlike the evil […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Laser Shades In the future, this Laser Trac Level will just be called “a level.” Because in the future, everything will use lasers, so calling anything a “laser something” will just be redundant. But it’ll work pretty much the same as it does now; you’ll hold it – […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Tell me about the war, dad They called me the Cooler King. “Those were trying days, son. Trying days indeed. I was in the cooler more times than I can remember. But Jerry couldn’t break me!” Gee, Dad, I thought World War Two was way before your time. How is it possible you were a […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Welcome to Sound Bar. “Hi! I’ve been looking all over for something like this.” Please, no enthusiasm. Sound Bar is the new elite night club. I realize this is probably the highlight of your until-now-meaningless existence, but act like you’ve been here before. “What?” We ask all patrons of Sound Bar to adopt a disaffected, […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Beware of User Hey, I’m a burglar, not some kinda robot warrior. I ain’t breakin’ into no house guarded by TRONs. Whaddya mean, not real? I can see the guy right there through the window. That TRON guy, right there. See him, all in black space leather, ready to sling an astro Frisbee at whoever […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
In Case Of Zombie Invasion When there’s no more room in Hell, some corporations are in trouble. Because it’s pretty much common knowledge that the phone company, the power company, the oil company and most of government have ties to Hell. And when those dark days come, and the demons, zombies, vampires and FDR break […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Siri Doesn’t Do Channel Changing As long as the batteries don’t die before I move, I’ll never have to bother finding my remote again. It’s gotta be somewhere around here, that’s all I know. It must be. I mean, the RCA Voice-Controlled 6 Device Universal Remote is still following all of the voice commands, macros, […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
Like A Little Desk Tank Maybe you can’t tell by the photo, but trust us. the front of this mouse is pretty cool. Lots of mice are like one big dollop of technology, like someone dropped hot soup on your desk and it congealed into a hunk of plastic. We’re happy to say that the […]
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 // Woot
For The Rugged Individual Up here on the top of the world, it’s hard to tie the room together. I’ve climbed to the top of every mountain, everywhere in the world. I’ve done it freehand, with ropes, carrying fireworks and strapped to an elephant. And each time, all I think is “Wow, does this mountain […]
