Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Copywriting’s A Dangerous Gig Xoom, Xoom, Xoo… wait, what do you mean by “That’s someone else’s jingle,” huh? Can you own music, man? Can you own the sky? What lawyer’s gonna come down from some crazy magic dreamland and tell me I can’t sing, man? I got a song in my head and I want […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Now that’s what I call entertainment Here’s the deal, pal: this is public transportation, so you’re going to have to deal with the public. And it just so happens that some members of the public, like me, enjoy passing the 50 minute bus ride by watching DVDs of kidney operations on their Mustek Portable DVD […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Shouldn’t That Say “Final Generation”? Well, this is it, Flip MinoHD 4GB Camcorder. You got any last words? I… I just want to say thank you to everyone who’s ever stuck up for me in the past, especially all those nice people who have given me such nice reviews. I’m glad I could bring you […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Are you ready for some HPs?! ‘Cause we’re about to have a glut of them. Are you sick of desktop PCs bringing the WootOff to a grinding halt as you wait for someone to shell out a few hundred bucks on some refurbished HP merchandise? Well, have we got terrible news for you! Since HP […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Forever alone. A solo speaker’s all I’ll ever need. Sure, I might not have a date. I might not get invited to parties. And sure, no one comes to the parties I throw myself. But that doesn’t mean I have to get down on myself. Not with this Vulcan Phantom Solo Speaker & Freeloader USB […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Cameraphobia Jessup doesn’t trust any of these tiny little cameras. Everyone else thinks they’re all the rage, but not Jessup. No way, Jessup says, “Point not your little robot eyes at me!” Jessup doesn’t want to be some big star! Jessup doesn’t want his image burned forever into a SDXC card, doesn’t want to be […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Eye on the prize Thanks to this Uniden surveillance system, I can keep an eye on my most valuable possession: my beautiful face. I’m protecting myself from standard property damage, just like anyone else really. The only difference is, the property in question is my stunning visage. I gotta be honest, it makes this security […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
A Little of That Human Touch The store must go on. This is one of those things, you know? I mean, what are we supposed to say? If we talk about it, we’re going to look like we’re trying to cash in on a public figure’s death. And that’s tacky. Who are we, the Sir […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Oh, you brought your laptop to class. Neat. I’m sorry to bother you, but is there a reason you’ve got your laptop open? I mean, it’s Philosophy 101. It’s pretty much universally known as a cakewalk class. We don’t even really take notes, we just debate whatever Sophist argument we read the night before. It’s […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Smile To the beach, boys and girls! But some of us just weren’t made for these summertimes. Boys, come on! Come on! It’s summer! You should be out, I don’t know, surfing or tanning or maybe racing cars or something. Well, okay, Carl, I guess you ARE racing cars, but I didn’t mean some game […]
