Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
Sorry, we can’t sell you a magically wise black caddy to carry your golf clubs. But we can sell you a magically useful black bag. Just don’t expect it to be your pal. The Banger by Oakley is the strong, silent type. Stable stand, six-way club divider, storage space for your shoes and umbrella, and […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
Use these: because your toes need a break from each other now and then. Don’t use these: as driving gloves. These just posted on Facebook: “I ain’t ashamed of my toes. re-post if you think toes are beautiful! :D” On this product’s car, there is a bumper sticker that reads: “my other car is a […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
It’s not like we just planned to do nothing but eat snacks and drink cocktails all day. Naturally we WOULD do those things, but not ALL DAY. And anyway, those are the very things one would need a blender to do, right? Salsa, mixed drinks, that weird vegetable soup that’s served cold… is that Gaucho? […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
I blame my mother. She was always holding me back. Like the time I wanted to take up sword swallowing. She was all, “Stop swallowing those pennies!” Why pennies? Because you don’t just START with swords! You have to work up to it! But thanks to her naysaying, and also those X-rays, I never got […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
“______[Term of endearment], have you seen the ____[expletive]ing remote?” “For what?” “The Sanyo! The ____[expletive]ing Sanyo!” “What the ____[expletive] is a Sanyo?” “____[expletive], _____[Term of endearment], that’s the name of our TV. Are you _____[adjective]?” “How dare you, Adam. How dare you have the _____[noun] to ____[expletive]ing call me that? I don’t even know why […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
“Hey, wanna hear a joke?” “Sure.” “How do you get down off an elephant?” “…” “Ahem. How do you get down off an elephant?” “Are you asking me?” “Yes!” “I thought you were going to tell a joke.” “This is part of the joke.” “So I have to answer? I’m telling the joke?” “No…just…no. Answer […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
Authors can’t help themselves, you know? They write a whooooole book, but they’ve still got to throw in a tiny little explanation about what you’re about to read. That’s called “the preface” most of the time, and we think “preface” is Latin for “got this one past the editor, ha ha ha!” So we were […]
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 // Woot
“Hey Carl. Whatcha up to?” Oh, just saddlin’ up ol’ Center Point. “Is that your horse’s name? I always thought it was Buttercup.” No, I’m talkin’ about this here filly. “Wait … THAT? That’s not a horse, Carl. That’s a full-color, digital audio video camera. I don’t know where you come from, Son. But I […]
Monday, March 25, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to make your ex-computer feel jealous. Don’t use this: to get over your ex-computer. These things take time, and rebound computer/user relationships never work out in the long run. Have fun, but don’t get too attached. The experts say: it takes half as long as your previous computer ownership period to get over […]
Monday, March 25, 2013 // Woot
Use this: because if you get lost on the golf course, you may never return. And then you’ll have to live there. On the golf course. Instead of going back to your life. And your job. And your responsibilities. Hey, wait a minute… Don’t use this: if you’re looking for that sexy British lady voice […]
