Monday, March 18, 2013 // Woot
Easter’s coming, and that means it’s time to prepare a basket of goodies for your kids. Well, before you head to the store and snag all the chocolate eggs and jelly beans, we’ve got a little basket-stuffer we think you should consider: A Dyson DC35 Handheld Vacuum! Put one of these vacuums in your child’s […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to listen to the pre-recorded sounds of you working out while you work out for that authentic working-out aural experience. Don’t use this: if you cherish the feeling of a tangled earbud cord. A real Amazon review of this product states that: “I don’t usually bother writing reviews because…well, I don’t really care […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you like your bike like you like hard drive: with a name that sounds like a hard drive. Don’t use this: to light your cigarettes. At the local watering hole, this would order: an energy drink. When this product doesn’t want to go to dinner with you, it uses this excuse: “Sorry, […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
When deciding on a pillow for your CPAP device, one must consider the DOs and DO NOTs of pillow ownership. You can rest assured that we have designed an exhaustive list of all the different possibilities and sorted them accordingly. Please check the list inside should you have any questions regarding CPAP Pillow ownership. DO: […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
“Okay, so we’ve got an idea that’s going to blow your mind: Best-Lock: The Movie.” Excuse me? “What’s the big craze these days? Action figure movies! Board game movies! Toy movies! And these Best-Lock toys are definitely toys, so therefore, our plan is to make a movie.” You guys are idiots. “IMAGINE … a platoon […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
Hey, son! Check out what I got you! A National Geographic castle play environment! Pretty cool present from old dad, huh? Look here on the box: it stands three feet tall, and you can color yourself! That’s right! You can color and play with it however you want! Except, there are a few rules. One: […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
Come on, Shirt.Woot. As if, of all the animals who might develop science, sheep would be first on the list? They’re not even the most advanced members of the Caprinae sub-family! They’re not even the smartest animals in a typical barnyard! And then – and then – not even sheep, but juvenile sheep? This is […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
Today we visit Her Ladyship, Bertha Von Pewterschnapps, and discover what a day in the life of a Countess is like. “When I wake in the morning, the first thing I do is pull the cord for the bell above my head to summon the girl that rings the other bell to summon the girl […]
Sunday, March 17, 2013 // Woot
Gather round, one and all, and I shall recall for you the Swiss Legend of Neptune! Once upon a time, in Switzerland, there was a farmers guy named Neptune, or Nep for short, or Ned for short and if you misheard. All day and all night, Neptune toiled away in his fields, harvesting the agricultural […]
Saturday, March 16, 2013 // Woot
Didja know that some people change the batteries in their smoke alarms every six months, (at daylight savings time)? Turns out some people are actually responsible enough to THINK AHEAD about their batteries dying, rather than waiting for the baleful beep of a dying detector. Who are these people, you ask? Dads. Definitely dads. The […]
