Tuesday, February 5, 2013 // Woot
“I think your son is watching too many cartoons.” First of all, he’s OUR son. And why do you say that? “Because he’s just sitting on the Safavieh rug over there, waiting for it to start flying.” You don’t know that. Maybe he’s just an admirer of power loomed construction and specially-developed sisal weaves. “Or […]
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 // Woot
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mom and Dad, hold up! You can’t just pick up my National Geographic Cardboard Playsets and start putting it together like that! I don’t care that the tabs and slots fit together easy and simple! What are you guys, scabs? Maybe we need to replace the Medieval Castle with a giant inflatable […]
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 // Woot
Now, who’s hot who not Tell me who hops to Sellout.Woot You tell me who flopped who rocked the BlueTooth Who USB got mini, who’s mostly lithium-ion rechargable, the same ol’ slim case, you know ain’t nuttin change but my tin Can’t stop till I see my name on a Tim Cook device pullin all […]
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 // Woot
Like all great artists, Shakespeare was not fully appreciated in his time. Although his plays enjoyed modest success during his lifetime, they were overshadowed by the works of Edmund Spenser and Philip Sidney. It was not until after the poet’s death that his works assumed their canonical ascendency. And this makes one of curious temperament […]
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 // Woot
At the signing of the treaty, Pork Medallions was restless. “They said they’d be here!” The succulent meat paced across the marble hall. “Where are they? WHERE?” “Patience,” counseled Grilled Chicken Breast. “They brought us this far. They wouldn’t leave us behind now.” Near the window, Salmon Seared With Freshly Ground Black Pepper nodded. “Pork, […]
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 // Woot
Speaking of high-drain devices, too bad my kids don’t run on batteries. You think having to deal with multiple obnoxiously loud musical electronic toys with blinding flashing lights at once for hours and days on end is tough. Try putting up with this once the batteries FINALLY die: “Mom. Mom. Mom. Hey mom. Hey mom. […]
Monday, February 4, 2013 // Woot
You know that, like, square hole in the side of your laptop? No, no, not the one where you put the plug. The other square one. Or rectangle one, or whatever. Right, right, that one. So yeah, if your computer doesn’t do the thing where it has websites on it that come from the air, […]
Monday, February 4, 2013 // Woot
When I wake up, yeah I know I’m gonna be I’m gonna be the one who walks out the front door When I go out, yeah I had no real idea That the weather outside still is really poor If not this one, yes I know I’m gonna be I’m gonna be buyin’ the other […]
Monday, February 4, 2013 // Woot
Ever own a bean bag chair? Ever have that bean bag chair spring a leak? Why do I ask? No reason. We’re totally kidding with you. This super soft microbead pillow won’t spring a leak like a bean bag chair inevitably will every time. Probably. If you use it correctly. But we’re still not making […]
Monday, February 4, 2013 // Woot
I’m Lee Go, here at the city of the unexpected and highly unusual phenomenon. As you can see behind me, there’s a 30-piece train set where our beloved city once stood. At its height, our city boasted over 200 LEGO-Compatible blocks. Now, they all seem to be gone, like some angry and powerful titan just […]
