Sunday, January 27, 2013 // Woot
Oh, the 1990s: a time when no one knew what hacking was but everyone was convinced it involved vector-graphic-rendered stickmen floating through weird, empty landscapes of green pyramids and purple cubes and crap; a time when Michael Crichton got everyone to admit that they were still nuts for dinosaurs; a time when people thought Arnold […]
Sunday, January 27, 2013 // Woot
Look, we’ve all been there. A glance across a crowded room and suddenly you’re debating the merits of a screw-top wine for the first time in your life. And then, a week later, you’re doing it again with an entirely different bottle. We’re not saying it’s right. We’re just saying it happens. And it happens […]
Sunday, January 27, 2013 // Woot
With this home theater system, you’re well on your way to having a movie theater in your home. In fact, all you need is the POPCORN! Actually, you probably need a lot more than popcorn. For example, you’d need a projector and a screen. And enough seats for at least 60 people. Also, you’d probably […]
Saturday, January 26, 2013 // Woot
Sure, Apple, you’re the largest company in the world, but have you no heart? Do you think you can switch your power connectors willy-nilly, and turn a blind eye to the consequences? Look at what you have done, Apple. LOOK AT IT. Here is a perfectly lovely messenger bag with a built-in battery for recharging […]
Saturday, January 26, 2013 // Woot
Use these: to show the ice that its years of ruling your life through fear are over. Today is payback time. Don’t use these: to cut vegetables. Look, we know you like to dance and chop carrots at the same time, but c’mon! Think of your floors! You should know: that these are, in fact, […]
Saturday, January 26, 2013 // Woot
I know there’s only two of us, but what can I say? I cook like momma taught me, God rest her soul. Granted, she was cookin’ for 12 kids, three farm hands and one very hungry husband. Still, this is down-home comfort-food cookin’. You just don’t go fiddlin’ with them recipes. Not that she ever […]
Saturday, January 26, 2013 // Woot
It was a dark, cold evening when Professor Hallatorium pulled on his ritual robes and walked up the stairs. After months of study, tonight was the night: tonight he would open … the gate. “IAO CHTON!” the Professor yelled, facing the Summer Infant Baby Gate. “ARISE FROM YOUR SLUMBER! USHER IN THE AGE OF KALI” […]
Saturday, January 26, 2013 // Woot
What did kids do before NERF? Playtime must’ve been hell; if you wanted to play cops and robbers or something you had, what? Kitchen knives? That would never work. Kids had to run around throwing cats at each other. And kids have great imaginations, but come on: it’s hard to pretend you’re a hard-boiled detective […]
Saturday, January 26, 2013 // Woot
I was thinking tonight, maybe we could try that new Wine Bar? “Yeah, sure… I guess…” Tom, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird all day. “Oh, it’s, well… Lisa, I have a confession to make. I, I… I have a son!” What?! We’ve been together for three years and you tell me this now? “Look, […]
Saturday, January 26, 2013 // Woot
Seriously. Did you see him in 2006? Muscular. Intense. Age worthy. You just don’t get that way without blending. It’s unnatural. If I had to guess, I’d say 51% Syrah, 49% Cabernet. Three years in the bottle. Bam. You’ve got a winner. Why didn’t anyone come forward before now? Probably because in 2007, he married […]
