Sunday, September 30, 2012 // Woot
“AGAIN!” Ella fell to the floor and giggled next to her father who laid there defeated and broken. “Are you sure you don’t want to try playing a game, sweetie?” he asked, his voice weak from exhaustion. “What about learning about Phonics? You know, once upon a time, people used to get hooked on…” “AGAIN!” […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
“Choo! Choo! Here comes the baby express! Spare me,” thought Ella. “Everyone knows that alphabet puzzles are so 12-18 months ago.” So she pushed it aside and moved on to the one of the US maps. She gave bonus points for the pieces being cut to the shapes of the states, but it was all […]
Sunday, September 23, 2012 // Woot
See, originally I figured the Hitachi Micro Driver Drill would offer me a chance to work on my home or my car or whatever, and the Hitachi Right Angle Impact Driver would make it easy to get those tight spaces where a drill just can’t reach. Little did I know the Hitachi Micro Driver Drill […]
Tuesday, September 11, 2012 // Woot
“YOU GET THAT OUT OF OUR HOUSE THIS INSTANT!” Lesley was infuriated that Brant could be so insensitive. Had their college boycott of all non-dolphin-safe canned meat products meant nothing to him? And the summer they spent campaigning against pianists and the Professional Dominos Player’s Association and their resulting co-authored expose: TUSK! TUSK! The Shameful […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
In her dream, Olivia was sitting at her desk, doing her homework. “A Plus, Olivia!” the teacher said. “But you’re not done yet!” And Olivia would look down, and all the answers would melt away, and the questions would change. No matter how hard she worked, it didn’t matter. Nothing ever stayed the same. At […]
Friday, September 7, 2012 // Woot
Finally, after months of secretly searching, Jake found Olivia’s collection of secret thoughts and wishes. On her lap desk. Unlocked and open. Which, now that he thought about it, seemed a little strange, but whatever. 5/19/2012 I felt really bad tattling on Jake today. I guess maybe I was just jealous because Gramma bought him […]
Thursday, September 6, 2012 // Woot
Dear the Discovery Kids Explorer 5 Book Bundle publishers, Although I enjoyed the Discovery Kids Explorer 5 Book Bundle, I feel that you made a mistake in describing your product. For example, you do have five exciting books, all of which I enjoyed reading. But you convinced my mom that the quizzes were “fun” and […]
Tuesday, August 28, 2012 // Woot
I’m sick of watching all those guys glide by so elegantly on their paddle boards. I can do that! All I need is a paddle board of my own, except holy crap they’re expensive. No problem! I’ll snag one of these Tower Inflatable Paddle Board Bundles! Ha ha! Now I’ll show those idiots who’s- SPLASH! […]
Tuesday, August 28, 2012 // Woot
Say what you want about childhood, but it’s not always as easy as ABC and 123. Life is a puzzle, and Ella wasn’t quite sure how all the pieces fit. She didn’t understand what the big deal was. So the fish want to go hang with the farm animals, and the neighborhood pets want to […]
Thursday, August 23, 2012 // Woot
“Man, have you bought batteries lately? I’m in the wrong business.” “That bad?” “It’s ridiculous! Batteries haven’t changed; how can they be so much more expensive?” “Well, I think batteries have changed. I mean, they’ve gotten more efficient and stuff. Plus, these are rechargeable. So you know, in the long run they’re actually cheaper.” “Rechargeable?” […]
