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Samsung 14” Core i5 Aluminum Laptop with WiMax, WiDi, HD LED Display and Edge-to-Edge Glass – $549.99

And People Wonder Why Dogs Are So Spoiled These Days Hard to believe that a computer so powerful can still be light enough to carry around in your teeth. Please, Jiffy. Please. Just be still while the nice lady gives you a bath and I’ll get you your own Samsung laptop. That’s right. You smell […]

HP Pavilion Dual-Core Entertainment Notebook with 17.3″ BrightView LED Display & Blu-ray – $479.99

Ain’t Too Proud To Beg Well, Snuffles, it’s been fun, but I’m afraid your run as “Best Friend” is at an end. Now come on. Don’t give me the sad eyes, you hound. Refurbished or not, this HP Pavilion Dual-Core Entertainment Notebook with 17.3″ BrightView LED Display & Blu-ray pretty much outclasses you in nearly […]

Apple 32GB iPod touch with Retina Display & FaceTime (Current Generation) – $229.99

Now I Know How My Kid Feels When It Doesn’t Snow As Hard As He’d Hoped The problem with living like it’s your last day on Earth is that 99.9% of the time the end of the world doesn’t happen. RINNNNNNG RINNNNNNNNNG RINNNNG… Huh? Wha? HellOW MY HEAD. Ugh. Stupid bartender. Stupid Four Horsemen. Who… […]

Samsung 14” Core i5 Aluminum Laptop with WiMax, WiDi, HD LED Display and Edge-to-Edge Glass – $529.99

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It Go on. Spend like there’s no tomorrow… because we hear there may not be. This Samsung 14” Aluminum Laptop has 4GB of DRR3 RAM, 640GB of hard drive space, comes with Windows 7 Home Premium and… aw, who cares? It’s the last day on Earth, […]

Apple 8GB iPod touch with Retina Display & FaceTime (Current Gen) – $169.99

Looks Aren’t That Impor- Actually, On Second Thought… Man, the iPod touch has ruined my whole online-dating strategy. Thanks a lot, FaceTime. I had it all figured out. Post a heavily doctored photo of my somewhat better-looking younger brother to my online dating profiles. Master a mellifluous, articulate writing style that carries no hint of […]

HP 2.2GHz Notebook with 15.6″ BrightView LED Display

A Cautionary Tale Well I guess you laptop computers have finally got us old typewriters on the ropes. I hope you’re happy. Go ahead. Enjoy your little victory. It must feel really good to make us old workhorses darn near extinct. After all, no one needs ink ribbons, touch control, or even paper anymore. Heck, […]

Apple 8GB iPod touch with Retina Display & FaceTime (Current Gen)

Reason Enough Not To Sure, there are a ton of reasons why you might want an iPod touch, but there are just as many reasons why you wouldn’t. For example: Your boss insists on using FaceTime whenever possible to confirm the use of “sick days”. It’s a lot harder to feign “spastic colon” while at […]