Wednesday, February 27, 2013 // Woot
Sure, he hasn’t worked a day in over two years, he’ll watch infomercials for hours if the remote is across the room and he often snacks on leftover beard crumbs because the fridge is, like, SO far away. But that’s just because he’s choosy about how he expends his energy. You might look upon this […]
Monday, February 18, 2013 // Woot
So I don’t have any blades. Big deal. Don’t feel sorry for me. I can still do all the things you can do. I just do them a little differently. In fact, in some ways I can do them even better. For instance, we can both cool a room. But I can do it without […]
Friday, February 15, 2013 // Woot
So, I had the weirdest dream last night. I do have a reoccurring dream about cyclones, actually. But last night’s was different. This time instead of hiding, I actually ran right up to the cyclone and grabbed it by its tail. It felt amazingly light in my hand, actually. Like it couldn’t have been more […]
Thursday, January 31, 2013 // Woot
I’m out there cleaning cause I hate dust and grime and so I get on the ball and trap those particles very fine He’s so cyclonic, and-a He’s really centered too He’s asthma friendly, oh, this sweet DC25 I rolled it round the corner That motor’s in the ball My lovely sweet DC25, that dust […]
Wednesday, December 26, 2012 // Woot
Vacthropologists have recently unearthed remains of a previously-unknown species of vacuum, dubbed Vacuus Erectus, that they say may be the missing link between primitive canister vacuums and modern machines such as the Dyson DC41 Upright Ball Vacuum. “These primitive vacuums would have benefited from being able to see above the grass to spot predators and […]
Friday, December 21, 2012 // Woot
Honor woke up in a sweat and slapped on her Dyson 10″ Bladeless Fan. The cool air moved over her like magic. She covered her eyes and lay back. The dream was still so vivid in her mind. “You are a ninja, young man! You have a code of honor!” “And yet, I am sworn […]
Friday, November 30, 2012 // Woot
Ernie had finally met his match with Stan, and he was now groveling to his estranged wife with hopes of a reconciliation that would lead her to call him off. “Just like the fade-free 22.2V lithium ion battery in this Dyson DC35 handheld vac, my affections for you have never faded.” Marjorie looked skeptical, but […]
Thursday, November 22, 2012 // Woot
Hey, woah, calm down okay? You’re going to ruin this nice festive holiday gathering. I don’t see what the big deal is. I thought you’d appreciate a refurbished Purple Dyson DC41 is all. What’s with all the anger? No, I didn’t buy it “because you’re a woman.” I bought it because it’s a good vacuum […]
Friday, November 16, 2012 // Woot
Ernie knocked on the door to 3B. The woman who answered the door last time had said that she was in the market for a Dyson, and to come back next time he had one. He was sure she was going to love this DC25 with its 220 airways of constant suction power and the […]
Thursday, November 1, 2012 // Woot
Bwfrork looked down upon the tear-streaked faces of his wife, Lllarf, and their two children, Wokk and Sally. He knew this might be the last time he saw them, but he put on a brave face. “GLOOP BLARDS UUUUUUUGH,” he said to them. Which loosely translated means, “Don’t be sad, my little ones. Daddy will […]
