Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
Ernie stood on the stoop of the home he once shared with Marjorie, double bouquet of red roses in hand. He had a lot of explaining to do. And groveling. It was going to take a lot of groveling. But he was confident he could win her back. He dusted off the shoulders of his […]
Thursday, October 11, 2012 // Woot
Ernie rolled over and lit a cigarette. “Hey, Toots. Whaddya say you get in that kitchen and rustle us up some grub? I’m gonna need my strength. Got a big day lined up with that Dyson DC34 over there.” Brandi removed her tassels and placed them on the nightstand. She pulled the sheet up to […]
Tuesday, October 9, 2012 // Woot
Hey! Landlady! Come in! Hope you dig my new pad. Crazy, right? Like I told my friend Neil, I never figured I’d ever stop travelin’. Man, I saw it all, all of this wild, untamed, glorious nation. And I had so many adventures too. Like in that corner, that’s the dirt from my time in […]
Tuesday, September 25, 2012 // Woot
Ever since the break-in, things had been weird between Brant and Lesley. Brant was playing it off as PTSD, but was afraid it might be something bigger. And handsomer. And more exotic. Like a certain raven-haired heroic neighbor he knew. This morning, he found Lesley happily whistling away while vacuuming the sofa with a new […]
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // Woot
Ernie popped the champagne and laughed as it spilled over onto the Dyson DC17. “Whoops! Looks like I’m just gonna have to sell this one as refurbished! Any takers?” The room broke into laughter that slid into applause. “You could do it, too!” shouted Ernie’s boss. “My number one guy! Number one!” Ernie blushed and […]
Friday, September 21, 2012 // Woot
“Hey Mister, spare some change?” “Sorry.” “Come on.” “What? I don’t have any. And you’re just gonna spend it on booze.” “That’s not true at all. You’re making judgments based on appearance.” “Ah, jeez, fine. Here. That’s all I have.” “That’s it? Mister I’m trying to get enough money to get a refurbished Dyson DC25 […]
Saturday, September 1, 2012 // Woot
Your wife will just love this Dyson Digital Slim Vacuum. It only weighs 4.85 pounds, so her weak, febrile wrists will be able to hold it up. And she won’t damage her unmentionable baby-producing parts by hauling it up and down the stairs. It’s powered by Root Cyclone technology and a Dyson digital motor, which […]
Friday, August 24, 2012 // Woot
Ernie was 100% genuine Americana, a dusty relic of a bygone era. The days of the door-to-door salesmen were long gone. The proliferation of online shopping over the past 15 plus years had made sure of that. Truthfully, however, sales hadn’t been all that steady for more than 20. Still, he got up every morning, […]
Thursday, August 16, 2012 // Woot
Lesley heard the noise again. The sound of Raoul’s Dyson DC23 Canister Vacuum. She still felt her heart leap as it always had… but this time, it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same at all. This time… she was afraid of his perfection. Lesley huddled under a pillow as the Level 3 Root Cyclone […]
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 // Woot
Have you seen her lately? Yeah, she pretty much looks amazing. She lost a lot of weight. Everyone’s calling her “Slim.” I’d kill to know her secret. I really need to watch my diet. I usually just hoover up whatever the kids drop on the floor. Ok, the dogs too. I know, it’s humiliating. I […]
