Tuesday, February 21, 2012 // Woot
Promotes Clean Floors And Unrealistic Body Image Have you seen how thin Dyson is looking these days? I’m kind of worried about it. I read in In Touch Weekly that it’s down to just 4.85 pounds. That can’t be good for it! Of course, my first thought was “eating disorder”. But my friend waited on […]
Thursday, February 16, 2012 // Woot
Promotes Clean Floors And Unrealistic Body Image Have you seen how thin Dyson is looking these days? I’m kind of worried about it. I read in In Touch Weekly that it’s down to just 4.85 pounds. That can’t be good for it! Of course, my first thought was “eating disorder”. But my friend waited on […]
Saturday, November 12, 2011 // Woot
The Vacuum Is Yours (If You Buy It) You need people like me so you can point your freakin’ fingers and say, “That’s the guy who keeps a messy house.” Oh! You startled me, Mr. Montana! I didn’t see you glaring there. I’ll be just a minute more, and then everything will be nice and […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
March Of The Gladiators The good part about autumn is the pickup football games! The bad part is what comes inside after you finish. Yep, there’s nothing quite like sliding through cold November mud in your horsin’ around sweater, just like there’s nothing quite like walking up to a warm house and getting a door […]
Monday, October 17, 2011 // Woot
Lean in a little closer. Who knew Trent Reznor was such a neat freak? You help me clean the bedroom You suck up all of the gloom You make a sound that goes vroom You make me not need a broom (Dyson!) You’ve got a HEPA filter (Dyson!) Your motor’s in the ball (Dyson!) Low […]
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 // Woot
The Root Cyclone of Life All I ask is that you please scatter my ashes on the floor. Any floor. And then vacuum them up with a Dyson. Weird? Why is it “weird”? Why is it any weirder than people who want their ashes scattered off of some mountainside or into some bay, where they […]
Saturday, October 1, 2011 // Woot
All dogs go to Heaven This Roomba won’t love you the way a dachshund will, but it also won’t break your heart the way a dachshund will. Yes, I know, I know. This iRobot Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum with Virtual Wall cannot fill the emptiness left by my dear dachshunds, but that’s okay. I can’t […]
Thursday, September 22, 2011 // Woot
It’s Just A More Emphatic Way To Say SHHHHH Yes, I KNOW this is a library. But how am I supposed to read with all this crud on the floor? That IS the whole point of the be-quiet-at-the-library rule, isn’t it? So library patrons can concentrate? Well, there’s nothing I find more distracting than a […]
Sunday, August 7, 2011 // Woot
Don’t make me angry, or so help me God, I will make a robot outta you! This Roomba can’t clean up your academic record, unless… Class: Advanced Robotics with Dr. Glenwild Student: Michael Schaefer Grade: A- Evaluation: Michael is a very talented student, perhaps the most advanced here at the Gilchrist School of Robotic Engineering. […]
Thursday, August 4, 2011 // Woot
If Dyson Could Talk That clear debris bin holds more than dust, dander, dirt, crumbs, and pet hair. It holds… secrets. “Still not ready to talk, eh, Dyson? Well, I can do this all night. Mark my words: you will not leave these four walls until you tell us where you hid the stolen gold […]
