Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
It’s spring, and that means the full flood of wedding season is upon us. According to analysts[1], an individual under the age of 35 will attend, on average, 1,500 weddings per year. Given that most weddings occur between May and September, this works out to about 10 weddings per day. Since you only have a […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
Every office has that one employee who just can’t seem to do their job. Whether it’s the unstealthiest ninja, the intern who still doesn’t know how to use the copier after four months, or the IT guy who’s always saying he’d know how to do it “on a Mac,” every team has a weak link. […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
In one corner, we’ve got the scintillatingly sippable Judd’s Hill 2006 Cabernet Sauvignon from the one and only Napa Valley, and in the other corner, we have the delectably delicious Judd’s Hill 2009 Central Coast Pinot Noir from the Santa Lucia Highlands. Who will win? Which will be the victor in this ultimate battle of […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
It’s so … breathtaking. “It really is. I’m so glad we got up in time to watch this.” Me too. I love being here with you. Enjoying this beautiful viewing experience together. “When I look at it, it’s like I’m seeing this whole new world, or new reality for the very first time.” The colors […]
Monday, April 15, 2013 // Woot
You see, time is like a lawn. Lush, beautiful, always growing. But the human brain is like a Fiskars Mower. Always pushing, driven only by inertia and willpower. And willpower is the force that crushes time and space like a beer can in a black hole! Did you know that the human mind uses 10% […]
Monday, April 15, 2013 // Woot
Use this: for its intended purpose. Please. Don’t use this: in any way contrary to its written instructions. Really. This product grants its owner: responsibility. If this was a character in a sitcom, its catchphrase would be: “Careful!” If you owned this, people would say: “Is that a real…oh, I see the orange tip now.” […]
Monday, April 15, 2013 // Woot
Use this: with your 3D TV, your 3D home, and your 3D corporeal self. Don’t use this: to watch “Alvin and the Chipmunks” or your brains will transform into a rich meringue. Lost in the wilderness with only this product, you could survive by: luring echolocating bats with nature documentaries about delectable moths. If you owned […]
Monday, April 15, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to shed a little light on the subject! And that subject is, when did your sense of humor turns into your Dad’s? Don’t use this: to read books late at night under the covers. At your age, it’s a cutesy affectation at best, a sign of mental illness at worst. The experts say: […]
Monday, April 15, 2013 // Woot
I’m trying a new diet. I call it the XSX DIET. It stands for Extra Small Diet. The extra “X” is for extreme. And it’s all caps, because, like I said, it’s extreme. The idea of the diet is that I only consume miniature versions of the foods and drinks I ordinarily consume. This means […]
Monday, April 15, 2013 // Woot
Just to clarify, these Hounds Ultralite Outdoor Shoes by DAWGS are actually for humans, not dogs. That’s why DAWGS is spelled with an “AW” instead of an “O” (actually, we’re not sure if that’s the reason, but it seems likely enough). Anyway, we just wanted to clear that up in case there’s any possible confusion. […]
