Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Come on now, sweetheart, show Mommy what you’ve hidden in your terrycloth cover-up. No, don’t lie to Mommy, I can see you have something gathered up in the ruffled skirt. And what’s that in your hood? Come here, let me see what you’ve gotten into. What’s this? A shell? It’s very pretty, isn’t it? I […]
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Air mattress! Simple, right? NO WAY! Just like certain cars can’t take certain types of gas, this air mattress can only take certain types of air. Here’s what NOT to fill it up with: Second hand smoke Synthetic air Leaded air Firework-smelling air Helium Unrefined air Lemonade vapor Concrete The air up there Really, you […]
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Dear Game Developer, I know you’re probably not checking your email considering it’s the zombie apocalypse and all, but I still felt the need to express my concern. YOUR GAME IS A LIE! Case in point: the tulips I planted have done NOTHING to keep the zombies out of my yard. And they marched right […]
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Pedroncelli? Aw, yeah! I used to love them back in ’85! They had that logo with the lightning bolts in place of the letter l’s and that big hair guitarist. You remember, right? Wine Metal gave them their third album an unprecedented 9.2 flamin’ axes! Now, some people got into the band with that so-called […]
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Sometimes when I’m vacuuming with my DC39 Ball Canister Vacuum, I like to pretend that it’s not a vacuum with patented cyclone technology at all, but a real cyclone. And as I’m maneuvering the Dyson Ball technology around furniture, pivoting and changing direction with just a turn of the wrist, I like to pretend that […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
We’re not going to waste a whole lot of your time today. All we want to do is break it down with a short list as to why we think this Johnson Level Laser is going to be one of the best purchases for someone, like you, who might be considering a level. Ready? Okay. […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you want a laptop that makes you feel calm. Don’t use this: if you’re looking for “that zen book.” You’re looking for Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which is something totally different. Lost in the wilderness with only this product, you could survive by: logging onto the wilderness’s WiFi and […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you want your fun colors to gears ratio to be as off-balance as possible. Don’t use this: if you think shifting gears is man’s only way to show dominance over his vehicle. If this is buried in a field, what grows in its place is: an expanse of blacktop as far as […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
Microcotton’s great, especially the microcotton in the HomeSource Microcotton Towel Set. It’s incredibly soft, absorbs really well, and dries faster than most towels, but sometimes, sometimes, I just wish it wasn’t so dang cocky. Sometimes I feel like its main goal is to make my other towels feel inferior, towels that have long held a […]
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 // Woot
Boy, sure is a long line out here tonight. I was SURE I was gonna talk my way past the bouncer! But there he is, just sitting in his little chair, bouncing up and down. Not a word is going to convince him. He can’t even talk! Pretty shrewd move, club owner, hiring a little […]
