Saturday, October 27, 2012 // Woot
He didn’t know anything beyond what he’d been programmed to know, so it wasn’t strange to him that he grew. He’d never considered where he came from, never wondered how his parents met, never wondered about the old country where it all began. He was a traveler, and the first thing he’d ever seen was […]
Saturday, October 27, 2012 // Woot
You have a friend (we all do) who can do no wrong. He or she glides through life bringing what, to other men and women, would appear as disaster. And yet for your friend, it’s all perfect! People admire him or her, even when they’re passed out after drinking thirty pitchers of sangria and breaking […]
Saturday, October 27, 2012 // Woot
The guys making this Cold Steel Folding Knife really missed an opportunity, if you ask me. No one wants Cold Steel! Cold steel sounds so, well, cold. What about warm steel? Warm, inviting, friendly. It’s like a knife you can hug! Well, I mean, not too closely or anything. It’s still a knife after all. […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
Alright, what we got here is just another HP desktop with 12GB DDR3 memory, AMD FX-8120 Eight-Core 3.1GHz processor, and a 2TB SATA hard drive Wait, guys your underselling it! This is a WINDOWS 8 Machine! Oh, sure whatever. Windows 8. You don’t get it! That’s a new operating system! So when did it come […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
Behold! The sun burns red, red with the blood of Kings of old! You are the one our legends and prophecies have told of! All the symbols have manifested: you bear a Spalding US Open Replica Volleyball 2-Pack, mirrored sunglasses, a tan bordering on the consistency of cured leather, and tiny little booty shorts. You […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
Ernie stood on the stoop of the home he once shared with Marjorie, double bouquet of red roses in hand. He had a lot of explaining to do. And groveling. It was going to take a lot of groveling. But he was confident he could win her back. He dusted off the shoulders of his […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
Mrs. Julian’s Pre-School Class Presents: A Halloween Space Fantasy Adventure! Friday, October 26th, 7pm (don’t be late!) Michelle sat in the second row, glaring at the strangers who got there early. Probably they weren’t waiting backstage with their child, exchanging “I love you”s and “break a leg”s before the show. Probably they just threw their […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
I’ll be the first to admit it: I only got into science for the fame and women. But it gives me immeasurable pleasure to announce that today, after decades of research and numerous setbacks, we have achieved our goal. We have developed the Insta-Bed Queen Air Mattress with Pump. Long, tedious beds are a thing […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
It was just a costume for a Halloween party at first. In the past, I’d gone the clever route, the weird route, and the lazy route, but I’d never worn anything that was traditionally scary. So I thought, this year, I’d challenge myself. I would put together something that might scare people. And what could […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
:::sniffle::: :::snort::: :::sniff sniff::: Chad, are you OK? :::sniff::: uh … yeah. Yeah, Man. What’s up? Are you … are you CRYING? What? Me? No! Of course not. I’m not :::sniffle::: :::snort::: OKAY, I AM! I can’t help it! Whoa, whoa. It’s totally OK. What’s wrong? Is there anything I can do? What’s wrong? WHAT’S […]
