Sunday, April 14, 2013 // Woot
“Paper? Paper?!? Talk to me, buddy! What happened?” “I was… c-c-covering you…” “What happened? Where’s Scissors?” “Took off… after he… he…” “What? What did he do?” “C-c-cut… me…” “That bastard! Well, hold on, buddy! I’m gonna get help and you’re gonna be fine, you hear me? Buddy? C’mon, don’t drift away from from me now, […]
Sunday, April 14, 2013 // Woot
There are some people who are born with a gene for being late everywhere they go. It’s okay. We forgive you. But that’s not saying everyone will forgive you… at least not immediately… unless you have a gift of 2011 St. Julian Late Harvest Riesling in tow. Nothing says “I’m late. It’s my fault. But […]
Sunday, April 14, 2013 // Woot
Look, we’re human, okay? Sometimes we run out ideas. That’s why, from time-to-time, we’ll farm out the product writeup to an MFA student. Hey, if it worked for James Frey, it can work for us, right? So, today’s writeup for this VIZIO 32″ 720p LED Smart TV comes from Terrance Halpern, an MFA Candidate at […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
For those who prefer the gentle art of poetry, we have a treat today. Please join us inside for one of the greatest haikuristas the world has ever known, the great Check “Checkers” Smilt-Weisenberg, fresh from his tour of Japan, China, and the Indonesian Monasteries where the art of “elephant haiku” was not born, but […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to record your weekly podcast about the sound quality of various podcast mics. You can call it “Meta Mic.” Don’t use this: to create a facsimile of David Letterman’s set in your basement. CBS is not going to give you that contract. You win at this product by: having it drop from a […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
Use this: so that others can experience the fun and excitement of playing paintball without the whole giant welts all over your body thing. Don’t use this: if you’re hunting cartoon rabbits. Trust us. We’ve seen how this ends. You’re not going to come out looking like the cool guy. The thing that this product […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
Don’t feel bad, desperate and hungry soul. We’ve got you covered. With the Pyrex Easy Grab 19-Piece Bake Set you’ll have nine different ways to pretend you’re not just eating cake all the time. Here’s how it works! 1) With the 9″x13″ Oblong Dish with Lid, you’ll be able to just eat your cake. Sometimes, […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
Sure, there are plenty of things you could put your child on instead of a comfy, clean, attractive, safety-tested seat like this. You don’t need a shopping cart/high chair cover, do you? In fact, let’s make a little list of all the things you’d rather have your child sit on. – Half-eaten cakes. Sure, […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
When you see the word “Marley” on a pair of earbuds with a yellow, green, and red cord, you can only think of one man, a visionary, a true artist. Of course, I’m talking about David Frankel, director of the classic 2008 film, Marley & Me. Sure, you could overlook the product tie-in if you […]
Saturday, April 13, 2013 // Woot
In soviet Russia, cupcake eat you*! *This is due to very loose definition of “cupcake” in soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, cupcake can mean small cake in doily, but also can mean tiger, anaconda, and volcano, among other things. Much of confusion over reversal of actions in Soviet Russia due to Soviet Russia’s dictionary being […]
