Friday, April 12, 2013 // Woot
After a secret test in the North China Sea, EGJL published an article claiming that the regime’s cookware produced a frittata “of an ideal firmness” and that “not a morsel of food” was burned into the surface of the pots, “not even of the Glorious Leader’s world-famous seven-alarm turkey chili.” “Let this brilliant accomplishment serve […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
Like, it’s REALLY annoying the way you people keep making ASSUMPTIONS about how days work. Do you think “Toolsday” automatically has to be between Monday and Wednesday? Just because of how it sounds? You don’t look at the 13oz Curve Claw Hammer and say “A hammer? That’s like Thor! I bet they’re only going to […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
Use this: if you have at least one functioning eyeball. If you can watch it – Blu-ray, 3D, cable, Netflix, DivX – this thing can play it. Don’t use this: to watch VHS tapes. OK, that’s one thing. Rejected names for this product include: the Triplo-Dimensional Omni-Videator, Showz-It-All, the Superidiot Box If this item were […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to sleep n-1 people, where n = the person limit listed by the tent manufacturer. Don’t use this: to go camping with your family after visiting the National Kidney Bean Museum and Eatery. The only way to make this better would be: if it weren’t so damn permeable to bears. You win at […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
We all have our personal preferences of course, but from best I can tell: Chocolate-good. Liquor-better. Chocolate liquor-my head just exploded. Like in a good way. I could go on and tell you that this delightful collection of milk and dark chocolate-covered caramels and a sprinkling of fleur de sel French salt offers the perfect […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
You know the shame about kids these days? They don’t get to experience the thrills and spills of traveling the frontier using the reliable transportation of a covered wagon. Well, if you’re like us, and you frequently get the itch to introduce your children to the overwhelming joy of pioneer life, this might suffice as […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
We love going to the movies as much as anyone. The giant screen and the fresh popcorn are only a few of the many reasons that seeing a movie in the theaters is such a desirable option. But then there are the negatives: the couple making out next to you, the gum underneath your seat […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
“Are you more of a dog or cat person?” “Oh, cat, definitely.” “Really? But dogs are full of so much unconditional love.” “I guess so, but they just have so much energy. You have to walk them all the time…” “Yeah…” “And all that exercise makes their meat really tough, you know?” “It’s definitely tougher […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
Like it or not, fellas, we’re a lot different than the ladies. Guys, we’re easy. Beer and boobs. That’s all it takes to make us happy. But women, they’re enigmas. Good-smelling, shiny-haired enigmas. If you even knew how many kittens and chocolate-covered fruits I’ve been through over the years, you’d be shocked. But here’s the […]
Thursday, April 11, 2013 // Woot
I strive to offer a professional workout experience at Gary’s House & Gym. The towels are always clean, the water is always clean, and the workout music is always clean. And the Smart Strider Elliptical offers 18-inch strides, 16 built-in workouts, 16 resistance levels, and dual-grip EKG heart-rate monitor, just like a real gym. So […]
