Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
Like, really imagine it. You’re walking on the beach and you trip over a bottle. A magical fast-talking blue-skinned genie flies out and says I AM YOURS TO COMMAND O MIGHTY ONE and your first wish is… open my garage? C’mon. C’MON. That’s not what you’d choose if you really had three wishes. But if […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to project any number of Ds you want, up to 3. Don’t use this: to try any of that kinky curved-space Riemannian nonsense. This projector is strictly Euclidean, pervert. This will make you popular with: people who have 300″ screens but nothing to watch on them. If this item went to Taco Bell, […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
Use these: to fill your sugar cube tray when you’re all out of sugar cubes. Can you use them in your coffee? No! But anything’s better than an empty sugar cube tray. Don’t use these: if just saying the word “balls” is too much for you to handle. C’mon! GROW UP! When it’s cold outside, […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
I thought these Big Tree Italian Molded Pillows were the answer to my sleep problems. I thought that I’d finally be able to enjoy a comfortable night’s rest on 100% premium Italian molded memory foam that conforms to the shape of my head and neck. I thought for sure that, with features like unique vertical […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
You don’t have to get fancy and start adding a Super Duper 4 Monkey Tent or a Super Duper 4 Horse Tent, and you certainly don’t have to add some Super Duper 4 Evil General Tent just to make some kind of threat. Just enjoy what you’ve got, you know? Let the Super Duper 4 […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
When Uncle Ted told us that he was gonna paint his wall a movie, we said, “Sure, Ted. Just like you were gonna turn your hatchback into a hot air balloon.” And then he got all weird and said he was three stitches and a proper burner away from turning that into a reality, and […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
Today, we’re gonna hear a story. About a dream. About a dream of revenge that became something of an obsession. An obsession that almost destroyed the man who was dreaming it. A man who was almost destroyed by the obsession of revenge he was dreaming. We’re going to meet a man named Ahab. But first? […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
Whether it’s a turkey in bowling, hitting three jackpots on a slot machine, or drinking Three Wine Men Chardonnay, some of the best things happen when the number three’s involved. It’s no coincidence that this wine combines the tropical aromatic blend of papaya, Asian pear, and tangerine — three different types of fruit. It’s no […]
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 // Woot
Musicians know that a note is the smallest unit of measurement. If you ask a musician what time it is, they say “Four measures past six!” If you ask a musician what kind of sandwich they want, they say “Get me a twelve-bar meatball combo!” And if they want a tablet? Get ’em a Galaxy […]
Tuesday, April 9, 2013 // Woot
In case you’re not completely committed to the idea of buying a shed, we’ve compiled a small list of things that owning a shed will be able to help you with. They’re in no particular order, because they’re all equally valid. REASON ONE: Owning a shed gives you a place to store your stuff. A […]
