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AR 900MHz Wireless Outdoor Speaker

What a difference some ambiance can make, am I right? Our backyard used to be such a somber affair before I got this AR 900MHz Wireless Outdoor Speaker. All the bird songs were intermittent, sometimes you’d hear bugs and sometimes you wouldn’t, and you absolutely NEVER heard whale songs. But now we hear all that […]

Brinkmann 35 Lumen Flashlight – 4 Pack

Look, when our current financial system collapses and the electric companies go under and the night time becomes nightmarishly dark and lawless, what are people going to need? Light. Therefore, it is my theory that lumens will replace dollars as our national currency sometime in the near future. Which is why this Brinkmann Flashlight 4-pack […]

Dyson DC31 Animal Handheld Vacuum

Ever since the break-in, things had been weird between Brant and Lesley. Brant was playing it off as PTSD, but was afraid it might be something bigger. And handsomer. And more exotic. Like a certain raven-haired heroic neighbor he knew. This morning, he found Lesley happily whistling away while vacuuming the sofa with a new […]

Lap Desk with Light

The strongest advertising in the world? The words “That’s not for you.” Tonight, Olivia sat on her bed, a glass of ice water in her Lap Desk’s cupholder, drawing out a little football schedule under the light of the 12″ goose neck lamp. It was the first time she had ever seen most of these […]

Swivel Store Deluxe 4pk w/ Spice Bottles

You’ve been using spices for years now, and your spice life started to get stale. Don’t fret, that happens to almost every relationship between a person and his/her spices. It’s hard to keep things interesting when you see the same spices meal after meal. Bring a little zing back to your herb-life with this rack! […]

Chuck’s Curve

“I’m thinking about starting a comic strip.” “Oh yeah?” “It’s called ‘Walnuts,’ and it’s about a bunch of kids.” “Interesting…” “Though it centers around this one kid, Harley Black. He’s a real sad-sack sort of kid, and everything’s always turning sour for him.” “Have you told me about this before? It sounds really familiar.” “Nope! […]

Sextant Wheelhouse Zinfandel (5)

Attention Wine Patrol: 10-66 in progress, Sextant Wheelhouse. Any available patrolman, please. WITNESS ONE: “Well, it was… I just wanted to see a show, right? So I came down, and when I walked in the door I had these inklings of smoky cedar and spicy sage. I figured I should have turned right around but […]

Wheel Writer Light-Up Bike FX Triple Pk

Hello, Shelia. I’d ask how you are but I figure you must be pretty tired after crawling up from the Underworld to pick up the kids. Must be an awful strain having to breath in oxygen rather than the acrid perfume of pain and misery that usually fuels your cold dark heart, huh? Whoa, hey, […]

Haier 24″ 1080p LED HDTV w/ DVD Player

Thank you, Archibald, for that very interesting interpretation of the text. Now we’ll move on to our Vision-Sharing Session. But first, if I may clarify something: when we say we want to hear about your Telle Visions, we’re asking for you to recount any visions you’ve had of Telle – the all powerful, crablike being […]

Razor Malibu Cruiser Scooter

MEETING MINUTES Alderman Venable: So we’re agreed that crosswalk timers at the intersection of Lloyd Street and Waterman Avenue will be increased from 10 seconds to 15. Unnamed Man: Mic check! Alderman Venable: What? Unnamed Man: Mic check! Alderman Venable: Can anyone tell me what’s going on? Councilwoman Krebel: I think he’s doing that “People’s […]