Sunday, September 16, 2012 // Woot
In my day we had two games: Red and Blue. You picked one and that was it. Sure, you had a link cable and the prospect of trading a friend, but that would’ve required friends. And back then tiny Japanese monsters you capture in the grass and force into a life of servitude and warfare […]
Sunday, September 16, 2012 // Woot
Of all the little devils, Diablita Blanca is by far my favorite. She’s a beguiling blonde who looks absolutely radiant in fine crystal stemware. But don’t make the mistake of thinking this delicately perfumed beauty is a pushover. No, Sir. She’s bright, fresh and she’ll leave a sparkle on your tongue. And if the mood […]
Sunday, September 16, 2012 // Woot
I read a hurtful product description on Woot the other day. It was for some Pyrex baking/storage containers, and promised to “cut out the middleman” between baking dishes and storage containers. And while I understand the desire to eliminate inefficiency, as a middleman myself, Woot’s words cut pretty deep. Do you know what it’s like […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
Hello, and welcome. I am the founder and curator of the only museum dedicated to the lost grandeur of 1990s-era mobile electronics. Our collection includes dozens of long-lost devices that will thrill and delight you. Admission is free, but consider a donation, as our operating costs include the dozens and dozens and dozens of batteries […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
“Wait, what?” “Yeah, this is a private rehearsal. Who are you? And where did you come from?” I’m a professional chronographer, that’s who. Don’t worry about where I came from. “You mean, ‘choreographer’?” “You don’t look like a choreographer. You look like you manage a video rental store.” Look, ignore the vest, and instead check […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
Rod gasped when he opened his door. “What the? But I thought you…” He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “No, it’s you, isn’t it, Millicent? I figured you’d probably be showing up.” “Nice to see you again, Roderick,” Sylvia’s twin said with a grin. “Now why don’t you put down that air freshener […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
Things had been disappearing around the house lately. At first, it was only Michelle’s things. Her hair brush. Her favorite tube of lipstick. Her Coldplay CD. When she asked Tim about it, he brushed it off and said she had probably just misplaced them. The kids simply shrugged and went about their business without an […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
June 1st, 2012 I got my HP Pavilion Dual-Core Desktop from Woot today! I’m super excited to get it out of the box and start using it. June 2nd, 2012 While I was setting up my HP desktop, the computer tower fell onto my ankle and sort of…trapped me. I’m having a heck of a […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
Congratulations, creative people! With each story you write, each painting you paint, each website you design, you are successfully KILLING THE PLANET! That’s right! A brain working on creative stuff will EMIT TOXIC GASES INTO THE ENVIRONMENT, gasses filled with things such as WEIRD IDEAS and POOR NUTRITIONAL CHOICES and DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR! Obviously, creative […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
Congratulations, creative people! With each story you write, each painting you paint, each website you design, you are successfully KILLING THE PLANET! That’s right! A brain working on creative stuff will EMIT TOXIC GASES INTO THE ENVIRONMENT, gasses filled with things such as WEIRD IDEAS and POOR NUTRITIONAL CHOICES and DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR! Obviously, creative […]
