Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
Hey buddy. It’s me, your SD card. I was hoping we could have a little chat about something. You see, I know you’re enjoying your new PENTAX camera, but maybe you could, you know, take a little break occasionally. Now, don’t get me wrong! I love our photography trips as much as you do! Taking […]
Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
“I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA, BRO.” “It is. I assure you, it is. But rules are rules, and you can’t enter the mini-mart without a shirt.” “BRO, I’M JUST TRYING TO GET SOME CIGARETTES AND A ZERO BAR.” “Gross. Regardless, I can’t let you in unless you put on a shirt.” “OH I’M SORRY. I […]
Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
Before his Rosle 25000 Charcoal BBQ Grill Rod was like a samurai. His stance was so perfect, he could find the sausages even with his eyes closed, going by sound alone. He knew the smell of a perfect steak down to the smallest degree of rare. But he was still no master. He had yet […]
Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
“Michelle, do you have five bucks?” Tim was coming up from the den and Olivia was right behind him, grinning. Michelle folded her arms and waited. Tim knew what that meant. He was going to have to tell her the whole story. “Okay, okay. I went downstairs to where we keep the KidKraft 2-in-1 Activity […]
Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
It’s tough enough to make it as an author as is. I don’t need stuff like this refurbished Archos 10.1″ 8GB Android Tablet complicating things! Have you ever read Neuromancer? It’s positively laughable nowadays! Watch the original Alien movie sometime. It looks terrible!So if I write my futuristic dystopian steampunk sci-fi novel and they don’t […]
Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
The hipster ninja is surprisingly nimble, despite his constricting skinny jeans. The hipster ninja can be identified by his throwing stars, which are plastic, old, and ineffective, but weirdly stylish. The hipster ninja only fights with the left hand. He needs his right to hold his cigarette. The hipster ninja only fights with the left […]
Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
So you say you can’t cook but you still want to get in on all the free grub your friends are bringing to their fancy dinner party? No problem. After all, being a horrible cook is nothing to be ashamed of. Reheating soup, boiling noodles, pouring milk on cereal? That’s the kind of stuff that’s […]
Monday, August 6, 2012 // Woot
He’s told you nothing about the year he comes from or the years between. In fact, the only thing you’ve been able to figure out for sure about your future since he showed up in a blast of white light, naked on your kitchen floor, is that at some point you become a real jerk. […]
Sunday, August 5, 2012 // Woot
Now, we know what you’re thinking: “BOOO, Woot! You’ve sold these before! Like, a million times!” But here’s the thing: Technically speaking, you’re incorrect. These specific units that we’re trying to sell today? They’re actually the ones that we DIDN’T sell all those other times! Hence they’re still taking up space in our warehouse, hence […]
Sunday, August 5, 2012 // Woot
Could you pass the butter, Anna? “Sure thing! I made it myself!” Your own butter? Really? That’s awesome! “Yeah! I used my Teva Churn Shoes! Isn’t that so cool that Teva would make a butter churning shoe?” Wait, what? A churning shoe? “Yeah! They’ve got a mesh upper, so it’s extremely breathable and quick-drying! Perfect […]
