Tuesday, July 17, 2012 // Woot
Say, you’re Brian, the manager over in Complaint Servicing and Resolution, right? I thought so. You’ve definitely got that “power mad gnome who forces an ever-increasing workload on his employees while doing absolutely no discernible work of his own” look about you. I’m Jacob, nice to meet you. Oh, no, I don’t work for you guys. […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
“Tech.Woot?” you might be saying. “What changed?” The answer is… not much. Woot.com is going to be what it always was: the very best deal we’ve got. But for those of you wanting a new tech item every single day… well, you’re not gonna find couches and t-shirts here! And that gives us a chance […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
“I didn’t bring any bags.” “I don’t mean physical baggage. I mean emotional baggage. There’s no room for conflict on a kayak.” “That has a nice cadence to it. ‘No conflict on a kayak.’ Has lots of ‘k’ sounds in it.” “That’s just the tip of the kayak iceberg. Although you really want to avoid […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
Lesley heard the faint hum from the apartment upstairs. First she took a shower. Then, she made sure her makeup was all correct. Then she picked out the perfect dress, not too revealing yet not too conservative. A quick look in the mirror to make sure she looked perfect… and then, she went up a […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
Mackenzie hid under the table while her mom prepared to feed her little brother Gavin in his First Years MiSwivel Feeding Chair and Booster. It’s a good thing he was strapped into the adjustable 5-point harness, because he was about to embark on the ride of his life. Let’s just say if they were at […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
The fools scoffed at me! “You’re mad,” they said! “Why?” they said! Well who’s scoffing now that I’ve constructed my own Chinese Wine Torture Cell? I’ll simply lock myself into this metal cage, lower it into the cell full of wine, and escape! Either by slight of hand or drinking my way out.I used my […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
“Thank you for calling Kaiser Mushroomamente, this is Candace, can I help you?” “Hi-a Candace, it’s-a me, Mario!” “Okay Mario, can I have your last name please?” “Mario.” “Okay, Mr. Mario, what can I do for you?” “I’m a-calling because I got this letter in-a the mail saying I’ve-a been denied coverage due to a […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
These reds from J. Keverson Wines will put a spell on you!* *We are legally obligated to tell you that these wines will NOT actually put a real, bona fide spell on you. All we meant was that – with the 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon’s award winning dry and smooth texture; the 2008 Syrah’s nose of […]
Monday, July 16, 2012 // Woot
Every third Tuesday of the month, you come sashaying in with your ruffled apron and sensible flats, carrying your freshly baked Pyrex surprises, and the guards never suspect a thing. You just look like a regular Suzy Freakin’ Homemaker bringing wholesome, home-cooked meals to your man in the clink. I was framed, I tell ya! […]
Sunday, July 15, 2012 // Woot
Okay, I’m going to go gather some wood to build a fire. “Cool, I’m going to go find some lime trees.” Lime trees? Chris, we’re in the Adirondacks. There are no limes around here. “Aw, shucks. Well, okay. Fine. I mean, I’ve got the ice and the mixer stuff, but I think the zest of […]
